Fallen Out of Love with Dearest Alay

Been reading these stories in Fiction Press. Categorized under Romance, the theme is of the forbidden relationship between teacher and his female student. I don't know why but I find these stories appealing. Sexy. Not that I ever have had a crush on any of my teacher. Eeww, they're gross!

I've read this kind of stories before, also on FP, but they were more into THE romance. No, THE drama, actually. The ones I'm reading now are more into sexual. They're well written without the whole super sappy drama stuffs. Not in the mood for sappy stories.

Damn, these stories make me want to have a guy. Remember my previous postings about this alay I'm supposedly had fallen in love with? Well, I no longer am in love. I've fallen out of love, if I ever was. Dammit!! I knew it! It was only a momentary digression. Alays have always been a big no-no for me. I find them repulsive blablabla. And there I was, head over heels. But no longer. Thank you, Providence. :p

Well, see. I was having the early stage of fever and stuff, the things that led to my bronchitis diagnosis. I know it's weird. You'd probably think I made it up. I didn't. I was ill, and somehow my mind worked in such a weird way that made me think I was in love with him. Hahaa. I'm that crazy.

Honestly, I feel kinda relieved. But on the other hand, I miss the feeling of being in love. I want to fall in love. I want to have a crush on a guy. It's an exhilarating feeling. I want to feel those fabulousness, the adrenaline rush whenever I think of the object of affection, the blushings and blank minds, the feminine confidence. Oh, how that would be so awesome! Instead, I don't feel a thing now. Just empty and bored. I don't necessarily feel I must have a boyfriend. Just having a reciprocated crush would be enough. At least for starters. I really miss those feelings. *sigh*

I am so fuckin bored out of my mind! Jeez!

11272010, 10:35 am

Hah, akhirnya internet di rumah nyambung lagi. At least untuk weekend ini gue bisa puas2in main Farmville n browsing2. Hahahahaa... Niat banget bawa pulang laptop kantor cuma untuk main game. :p

Anyway, gue positif kena bronchitis, dan sekarang lagi dalam tahap penyembuhan. Udah bosen sama yang namanya kasur n duduk manis. Pengen sibuk lagi. Tapi apa daya, naik turun tangga aja pake batuk2. Bete!

Whatever, sekarang weekend. Berarti saatnya untuk nyaloooooon... Ato pijit ya? Ato makan2 enak aja? Hmmm... Secara Menik n Kucil lagi pada sibuk, this is gonna be a solo weekend again, I guess.

Risking My Health

Anjiss, judulnya serem aja. Padahal mah isinya malah penuh keriaan. :p

Abis gak masuk kerja, langsung dadakan jadi host untuk party kantor gue di salah satu club di Jakarta. My favorite band and MCs were all there. They even played my favorite songs without me asking for them to. :D Aaaah, it's good to be talent coordinator, eh? Well, that's only one jobdesc amongst others that I have. Hehe. Felt as if it was my own party...

So, in my unfit condition, I screamed, I sang, I jumped, I danced, I drank, I did everything but improving my health. I did all that despite the doc's bronchitis analysis. Damn! Serves me right if I get worse tomorrow. -____-'

Yang lucunya, begitu mulai ada yang bubar duluan, pada pake nyalamin gue dulu, padahal tiap hari juga ketemu di kantor kalee. Bener2 deh, jadi kayak gue yang punya acara n perusahaan. MC yang naik ada kali 10 orang, sebenernya gue ngundang mereka sebagai tamu doang, tapi syukurlah, mereka ternyata naik dengan kesadaran sendiri, hihihii... Anak2 yang dulu pernah kerja di kantor gue juga pada nongol, klien pun ada yang dateng, bos2 artis dan vendor, sampe bos2 klien juga loh tumplek bleg semua. Puas juga sih. Hehe...

So, my wish before I sleep, I pray that all those activities didn't ruin my lungs and things. I'm so tired of this stupid flu, I just wanna get well soon. Amen.

Si Bengal Tumbang

Bangkeeee!!! Besok mau party, eh disuruh dokter istirahat total. Monyong! Kemungkinan bronkitis katanya. Gimana cara gue bisa kena bronkitis?? Jadi katanya gue minum dulu obat dari dia selama 3 hari, kalo masih belum membaik, gue harus rontgen thorax. Hikss...

Besok kan yang ngundang orang2 diluar anak kantor itu gue. Kalo gue gak nongol ya gak keren banget toh? Kira2 serem gak sih kalo gue nongol di club gitu dengan memakai masker? :p

Pokoknya gue harus cari alasan biar besok bisa ngantor, hence go to the party. Hmm, ideas?

Bernard Bear

I just love watching videos of this stupid unlucky bear. LOL.

Ngigo 11162010, 2:20 am

Jam segini kebangun dan malah baca timeline di Twitter. Bukannya tidur lagi aja keq. Beberapa malam terakhir yg lagi rame adalah review tentang drama musikalnya Joko Anwar, Onrop. Well, it got rave reviews. Tapi 1 temen gue yg ngetwit betapa bosannya dia pas lagi nonton. Hahahaaa. So, probably it's not for everyone. ;)

Waking up at this hour, a mug of hot chocolate would be such bliss. Plus a good read until falling sleepy again. Maybe watching boring news too. :p

Well, just that notion about news puts me back into sleep. Night, peeps. :)

Bengal Bimbang. Lagi?

After days of stalking his socmed accounts, even the ones he didn't share, I finally found the courage to start a chat with him via BB Messenger. Firstly, it's because I saw that he'd changed his profile picture again. This time, it must have been taken years before, because his face looks sharper and more pointed. For lack of a better word, he's rather plump now. Well, compared to that new profile picture, I mean. He's really not plump at all. :p

I thought I could just tease him about it when I started the chat. Turned out we didn't discuss it at all. Not even close to that. It's like touch and go. And to prolong it, I asked him about the song that he sang to me the other day. I made up a reason so he'd send me the music file. And he did! Yayyy!!!

But, there's this thing that put me down. He's language style was so alay. Honestly, I don't like that. So I tried to open my mind. I mean, I like this guy. But talking to him in person feels so different than when we do online chat. His written language is a turnoff. Man, he typed 'iaaaa' for 'yaaaa'. *sigh*

So, if it's that easy for me to 'unlike' him, that I must not have been like him that much, eh? Is that good news, or bad news? Well, good news because soon I can go back to my normal self. Bad news because I still let myself judge people unfairly. I know writing style does not reflect his intelligence. But it's kinda hard for me to rule that out. Inarticulate means stupid. So narrow-minded. I can't help it... Damn!

But am still trying. Don't let alay slang and typos cloud my judgement. After all, the real thing is when both of us together in persons, right? That's when you feel the real touch, hear every spoken words, and look at each other's eyes.

One remaining question: he's still oblivious, will I keep trying? *sigh*