Thursday, August 06, 2009

Selamat Jalan, Sayangku

ADA YANG HILANG - Ipang (BIP)



Aku hanya bisa terdiam melihat kau pergi dari sisiku, dari sampingku
Tinggalkan aku seakan semuanya yang pernah terjadi, tak lagi kau rasa

Masih adakah tentang aku di hatimu yang kau rasakan?

Coba kau rasakan

Mudahkan bagimu untuk hapuskan semua kenangan bersama denganku?


Tak pernah sedikit pun aku bayangkan
Betapa hebatnya cinta yang kau tanamkan

Hingga waktu beranjak pergi

Kau mampu hancurkan hatiku


Ada yang hilang dari perasaanku

Yang terlanjur sudah kuberikan padamu

Ternyata aku tak berarti tanpamu

Berharap kau tetap disini

Berharap, dan berharap lagi...


Mbul, ini lagu lo. Inget waktu kita karaoke dan lo request lagu ini sampe berulang-ulang? Dan lo maksa mau nyanyi lagu ini sendirian. Gue gak boleh ikutan. Suara lo keren banget waktu nyanyi lagu ini, Mbul.

Mbul, gue gak bisa berhenti mikirin lo. Semua penyesalan karena gue gak bisa dampingin lo bikin gue serasa tenggelam. Tapi juga banyak memori bahagia kita. Cuma kita berdua, gak ada orang lain. Semua campur aduk, Mbul. Dan gimana nyeselnya gue udah seperti melupakan lo di saat-saat terakhir lo. SMS terakhir gue ke lo di malam sebelum lo pergi untuk selama-lamanya. Dan lo gak pernah menjawabnya.

Di pagi terakhir lo gue sempat berniat ingin ketemu lo untuk kasih semangat. Tapi karena kesibukan yang gak ada akhirnya, gue niatin setelah event gue akan ke rumah lo. Tapi ternyata hari itu juga gue pergi ke rumah lo, tapi untuk melihat lo terakhir kalinya sebelum jasad lo diterima bumi. Betapa kurusnya kamu, Sayang. Beda banget sama saat terakhir kita jalan berdua di Cinere beberapa minggu lalu.

Gue tau penyesalan gak ada gunanya, tapi tetap aja gue nyesal gak menemui lo lebih cepat. Seandainya kita punya waktu lebih lama untuk bersama. Seandainya lo sempat merasakan hidup yang bahagia dan sehat sebelum ajal menjemput, Mbul. Gue gak bisa berhenti nangis kalo inget bahwa lo belum merasakan kebahagiaan yang lo inginkan. Bukannya gue gak bersyukur, tapi gue dari dulu ingin lo memiliki kehidupan yang tenang, bersama Adam yang udah sehat. Gue tau betapa sayangnya lo pada anak lo. Gue menyaksikan betapa hancur hati lo waktu tau Adam kena kanker otak. Tapi nyatanya, sekarang lo yang mendahului dia. Seperti yang semestinya, namun tetap terlalu cepat, Sayang.

Sekarang semoga lo udah damai di alam sana, Mbul. Lepas dari semua yang membebani lo di dunia ini. Lepas dari semua kekuatiran yang terus menghantui lo akan anak dan nyokap dan adik lo. Lepas dari penyakit yang lo derita. Dan lepas dari gue yang mencintai lo.

Gue sayang lo, Mbul.
Gue cinta lo.
Lepaskan semua ikatan lo dengan dunia yang udah lo tinggalkan ini.
Damai bersamamu, Sayang.
Mungkin suatu saat kita akan dipertemukan di alam sana kalau saat gue juga tiba.
I love you, Mbul Sayangku.
Selamat jalan...
Selamat jalan...

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

08052009, 06:30 pm

Sayang, thank you for everything you've done for me
Sayang, I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you, knowingly and unknowingly
Sayang, I never regret our weird relationship
Sayang, I really never thought you'd be gone like this

You were supposed to get well, Sayangku, not passed away instead
You were supposed to get back to your crazy self, not died instead


If only I tried to find out about how you really were instead of making the worst assumption

If only I tried harder to stay by your side and give you spirit instead of letting my self swamped with work


It was like a lightning struck when I heard that you're gone

I still feel the emptiness

I still feel the shock also

I still can't believe it

I still can't take it

Until I see your dead body

Maybe then I'll believe it

But I'm still hoping that this is just a bad dream

That you're still alive and playing pranks on us

Mbul, please don't leave us like this

Mbul, please still be alive

Mbul, please...

Dear God, why?

Just A Fling, Promise!!

We kissed again. Damn!! Last night and this morning. Getting kinda intense, but I think he knows the rule. At least, I'd like to think so. Just a fling, and nothing more. Don't want anymore complications. This girl just wanna have fuuuuun... Until she gets her conscience back. Hmm...

Bengal, insyaf keq lo! Ampun deh...

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

One Republic - All We Are



I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you
And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it
and I believe that

Time can tear you apart,
But it won't break, anything that you are,
You are

We won't say our goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit
I figured there's nothing to lose
I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down
You're an island and my ship has run aground

Time can tear you apart,
But it won't break, anything that we are,
We are

We won't say our goodbyes you know its better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need all we need, a lover's alibi

Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by

So don't say your goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change [x2]

All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi

So don't say our goodbyes you know its better
We won't break, we won't die

I must admit, I'll never get tired of listening to One Republic. You guys rule!!

R.I.P. Mbah Surip


Telah berpulang ke Rahmatullah, Urip Ariyanto atau yang lebih dikenal sebagai Mbah Surip. Gue gak ngefans, bahkan gak pernah denger lagunya sama sekali. Cuma ikut2an aja kalo anak2 pada nyanyi 'Tak Gendong'. Namun musti diakui bahwa beliau memang fenomenal. Versi Indonesianya Michael Jackson yang bubble gum deh.

Yah, pokoknya rest in peace, mbah. You passed away when you're on top. Not many people can have that.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Bidadari Bengal, Batman, and CrewCut

I think now that I'm not a one-man woman. Lately, I kept cheating on my guy. Okay, well, technically I don't cheat. Because I'm not exactly his girlfriend. But when we haven't met for more than a month and barely keeping in contact, I guess it's fair to say that it's sort of over, eh? I don't understand what's my situation with Batman now. He's not here, and I can't always be there for him. And who wants to be with a pessimistic person, anyway. Sorry for dissing you, Batman. But I'm getting sick with your attitude lately. You don't try even for yourself. So how would you try for anyone else?

I got closer to CrewCut during our last event. Physically, not emotionally. Hahah. We practically worked on that event together, almost without help from the others as they were all too tired and had other business. Little touch here, little kiss there. But nothing more. And I can't let it gets further than that. In fact, this fling shouldn't have happened at all. Tapi ya emang dasar Bidadari Bengal. Bengal banget dah!!

Sekarang resmi udah, orang-orang sekantor tepar semua. Gue tambah lemes dan berasa melayang. Pusing. Eneg. Have no energy. But total load of work. Help!!

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Tired and Missing Batman

At last, back to beloved Jakarta. Only gone for 3 days but it felt like 3 weeks... Feeling totally tired, but still psyched up. Expecting to be hectic for the next 2 weeks.

Batman, cepetan sembuh dong, Sayang. Sepi gak ada lo di venue. Gue mau kabur sama siapa dunks? Hiks... Kangen euy. Ehem...

Muach dulu ah. Sekarang susah kalau SMS lo. Balesannya lama. Mbul bobo mulu ya? Gpp deh, biar cepet sembuh. Muach lagi...