Not going home again. Heuh. Gonna spend the night with CrewCut again. Hopefully I could hold him off and stay away from bad deeds. But sadly, I'm a sucker for bad boys. Suck!!
Good news! The boss just called and said that he's on the way back here. You wait for him, CrewCut. I'm going to bed. *Hoaahm...*
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Combining Work & Pleasure
Slept over at the office again. Fully using my voice today. The handset sticked to my ear all day. Now my throat is sore, and my mood is even sorer. *Hiks...*
Slept at the office. Went out for super late dinner with CrewCut and found a 24 hour warteg nearby. When we got back, we waited for the boss. He said that he was also gonna spend the night there. He arrived at almost 2 pm. CrewCut went home, and I went to sleep. But all those hours we were waiting for the boss were spent for working. Combined with heavy petting. And more petting. Damn!!
Really just the two of us. If the boss wasn't getting back to the office, the shit would hit the fan. We'd do it. For sure. No questions about it. We would have done the deed. Again. *Sigh.*
Slept at the office. Went out for super late dinner with CrewCut and found a 24 hour warteg nearby. When we got back, we waited for the boss. He said that he was also gonna spend the night there. He arrived at almost 2 pm. CrewCut went home, and I went to sleep. But all those hours we were waiting for the boss were spent for working. Combined with heavy petting. And more petting. Damn!!
Really just the two of us. If the boss wasn't getting back to the office, the shit would hit the fan. We'd do it. For sure. No questions about it. We would have done the deed. Again. *Sigh.*
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
08122009, 11:45 pm
So sleepy. Been working side by side with CrewCut all day. The other guys are all at the venue preparing and setting up the site for this upcoming event. Could only say that we've been getting touchy-feely anytime there's a tiny chance. Damn. I'm such a slut!!
And Mbul is still there on my mind. I don't understand myself.
And Mbul is still there on my mind. I don't understand myself.
08122009, 08:15 pm
Long time no post. Still grieving.
I've been busy working on this upcoming mega event. On top of that, internet in my office had been so shitty, so we couldn't get online for about 2 days. Damn... But today the internet is back on, thank goodness. I've never thought that we could get so stiff bored and 'mati gaya' without the internet. We couldn't work properly. *Sigh*...
I don't know what to write though. Today is the seventh day since he passed away. I miss him. A lot. I keep checking on his FB account and photos. Mbul, are you really gone?...
I've been busy working on this upcoming mega event. On top of that, internet in my office had been so shitty, so we couldn't get online for about 2 days. Damn... But today the internet is back on, thank goodness. I've never thought that we could get so stiff bored and 'mati gaya' without the internet. We couldn't work properly. *Sigh*...
I don't know what to write though. Today is the seventh day since he passed away. I miss him. A lot. I keep checking on his FB account and photos. Mbul, are you really gone?...
Monday, August 10, 2009
I Could Cry
At last I could cry. Met with my besties tonight in a coffee shop in Fatmawati area. Since Mbul passed away, I've been too busy with our last event so I didn't have time to grieve properly. I couldn't cry freely. Always in silence at the office. I barely went home last week. I had no personal space.
Last event handled by us had been executed, and I wanted to catch up with my life. At least, meeting and having some quality time with my best friends. So I called them and asked to meet right after I finished my job. I arrived first at Blooms and waited for them while perusing Batman's Facebook account and staring at his pictures. I miss him so much. I put his favorite music looping on my Nokia. He looked so healthy in those pictures. And the smiles and expressions, they're all just so Mbul. Why did you have to go, Mbul?
Almost an hour later, Menik and Kucil arrived. They sat, and I couldn't keep myself together anymore. I cried on their shoulders. I cried and cried and cried. Didn't care who saw us. I didn't know what to do anymore. All tears just poured out. All my kept up feeling exploded just like that. But I could only cried. Damn you, Mbul. Only you could make me feel like this. By your death...
Menik, Kucil, thanks for being there. I missed you both.
Hugs and kisses...
Last event handled by us had been executed, and I wanted to catch up with my life. At least, meeting and having some quality time with my best friends. So I called them and asked to meet right after I finished my job. I arrived first at Blooms and waited for them while perusing Batman's Facebook account and staring at his pictures. I miss him so much. I put his favorite music looping on my Nokia. He looked so healthy in those pictures. And the smiles and expressions, they're all just so Mbul. Why did you have to go, Mbul?
Almost an hour later, Menik and Kucil arrived. They sat, and I couldn't keep myself together anymore. I cried on their shoulders. I cried and cried and cried. Didn't care who saw us. I didn't know what to do anymore. All tears just poured out. All my kept up feeling exploded just like that. But I could only cried. Damn you, Mbul. Only you could make me feel like this. By your death...
Menik, Kucil, thanks for being there. I missed you both.
Hugs and kisses...
Friday, August 07, 2009
Teringat Kamu, Mbul Sayang
Teringat senyummu yang kadang sinis
Teringat tawamu yang ngenye'in
Teringat kata-katamu yang kurang ajar
Teringat ekspresimu saat melihat bokep di Internet
Teringat sentuhan ringanmu saat lewat di belakangku
Teringat pelukanmu saat tak ada orang yang melihat
Teringat kecupanmu saat kita hanya berdua
Teringat tatapanmu yang lembut padaku
Teringat perhatianmu yang kadang tak ada habisnya
Teringat saat kau menyuruhku untuk pulang sore
Teringat saat kita bekerja berdua
Teringat saat kita menunggu pekerjaan selesai
Teringat saat kita berjalan berdua
Teringat saat kita nonton berdua
Teringat saat kita makan berdua
Teringat saat kita karaoke berdua
Teringat saat kita pertama kali ngobrol berdua di Cisarua
Teringat saat kita jalan ke Bogor
Teringat saat kita berduaan di Serang
Teringat saat kita sering naik motor tanpa tujuan
Teringat saat aku menemanimu di rumah sakit semalaman
Teringat saat aku memelukmu ketika kau menggigil hingga demammu turun
Teringat saat kau tak ingin aku melepasmu dari pelukanku
Teringat saat-saat indah terakhir kita sebelum aku meninggalkan tempat tidurmu pagi itu
Teringat saat aku menjengukmu di rumahmu
Teringat saat melihatmu begitu lemah
Teringat saat terakhir kita jalan berdua di Cinere
Teringat ciuman terakhir kita di taxi
Teringat saat mendengar bahwa kau telah pergi
Teringat saat aku melihat jasadmu malam itu
Teringat saat aku memeluk ibumu
Teringat saat aku ingin menyentuhmu tapi aku tak sanggup
Terbayang jasadmu diturunkan ke bumi
Tak tertahan lagi tangisku
Tak terhentikan dukaku
Tak akan terlupakan dirimu olehku, Mbul Sayang
Mbul, sampai sekarang aku masih berharap ini hanya mimpi
Mbul, kepergianmu justru membuatku tak dapat melepas dirimu
Mbul, aku ingin lepas dari duka ini
Tapi Mbul, aku tak ingin melupakanmu
Aku harus bagaimana, Mbul Sayang?
Aku janji saat aku dapat menerima kepergianmu, aku akan merelakan dirimu
Aku tak akan menahanmu
Aku ingin kau terbang bebas tanpa beban
Aku ingin berkata, 'Pergilah, Sayang...'
Tapi tidak sekarang
Biarkan aku tenggelam dalam kenangan bersamamu untuk beberapa saat lagi
Hanya aku dan kamu, Mbul
Teringat tawamu yang ngenye'in
Teringat kata-katamu yang kurang ajar
Teringat ekspresimu saat melihat bokep di Internet
Teringat sentuhan ringanmu saat lewat di belakangku
Teringat pelukanmu saat tak ada orang yang melihat
Teringat kecupanmu saat kita hanya berdua
Teringat tatapanmu yang lembut padaku
Teringat perhatianmu yang kadang tak ada habisnya
Teringat saat kau menyuruhku untuk pulang sore
Teringat saat kita bekerja berdua
Teringat saat kita menunggu pekerjaan selesai
Teringat saat kita berjalan berdua
Teringat saat kita nonton berdua
Teringat saat kita makan berdua
Teringat saat kita karaoke berdua
Teringat saat kita pertama kali ngobrol berdua di Cisarua
Teringat saat kita jalan ke Bogor
Teringat saat kita berduaan di Serang
Teringat saat kita sering naik motor tanpa tujuan
Teringat saat aku menemanimu di rumah sakit semalaman
Teringat saat aku memelukmu ketika kau menggigil hingga demammu turun
Teringat saat kau tak ingin aku melepasmu dari pelukanku
Teringat saat-saat indah terakhir kita sebelum aku meninggalkan tempat tidurmu pagi itu
Teringat saat aku menjengukmu di rumahmu
Teringat saat melihatmu begitu lemah
Teringat saat terakhir kita jalan berdua di Cinere
Teringat ciuman terakhir kita di taxi
Teringat saat mendengar bahwa kau telah pergi
Teringat saat aku melihat jasadmu malam itu
Teringat saat aku memeluk ibumu
Teringat saat aku ingin menyentuhmu tapi aku tak sanggup
Terbayang jasadmu diturunkan ke bumi
Tak tertahan lagi tangisku
Tak terhentikan dukaku
Tak akan terlupakan dirimu olehku, Mbul Sayang
Mbul, sampai sekarang aku masih berharap ini hanya mimpi
Mbul, kepergianmu justru membuatku tak dapat melepas dirimu
Mbul, aku ingin lepas dari duka ini
Tapi Mbul, aku tak ingin melupakanmu
Aku harus bagaimana, Mbul Sayang?
Aku janji saat aku dapat menerima kepergianmu, aku akan merelakan dirimu
Aku tak akan menahanmu
Aku ingin kau terbang bebas tanpa beban
Aku ingin berkata, 'Pergilah, Sayang...'
Tapi tidak sekarang
Biarkan aku tenggelam dalam kenangan bersamamu untuk beberapa saat lagi
Hanya aku dan kamu, Mbul
Taking Refuge
Tried to forget my Mbul. Tried to runaway. But he's still on my mind even when I did the bad deeds. I took refuge and went to his arms. I know he's an ass, and I know he enjoyed it last night. And he made me feel good physically. But still, my Mbul was lurking in the back of my mind.
I took the worst way to forget what happened. I almost went crazy, but something got in the way, and we didn't do it. And I'm kinda grateful for the intrusion. I took what's available. I took what I've been wanting for weeks. But still it didn't give me the satisfaction I've thought I would get. Instead, it made me feel worse.
Mbul, I'm a bad girl. But I love you in my own way. Even when what I do shows the opposite. Mbul, I still can't fully believe you're gone. I can't feel a thing.
I took the worst way to forget what happened. I almost went crazy, but something got in the way, and we didn't do it. And I'm kinda grateful for the intrusion. I took what's available. I took what I've been wanting for weeks. But still it didn't give me the satisfaction I've thought I would get. Instead, it made me feel worse.
Mbul, I'm a bad girl. But I love you in my own way. Even when what I do shows the opposite. Mbul, I still can't fully believe you're gone. I can't feel a thing.
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