SuperBengal

Ketemu teman2 lama. Udah hampir setahun gak ketemu. Sekarang saatnya event lagi, lanjutan yang tahun lalu. Kembali di hotel yang sama, cuma bedanya sekarang udah ada wifinya. Kenceng pula. Horeeeee...

Agak ketar-ketir juga sih. Karena gue udah beberapa bulan terakhir diekspor ke kantor baru, dan gue sebenernya gak dikasih ikutan event lagi sama Boss Lady karena dia mau gue konsen sama kantor baru ini. Cuma gue kan kangen banget yak sama lapangan. Udah niat bujuk-bujuk Boss Man dan Om Noy supaya gue boleh ikutan, eh ternyata mereka malah yang minta gue ikut karena kepepet kekurangan orang. Alhamdulillaaaaah... :p Anyway, karena gue ada kesibukan juga di kantor baru, maka gue gak ikut meeting dan briefing apapun untuk event ini. Malahan kayaknya si bos dan para PIC pada sibuk masing-masing. Katanya, gue cukup pegang 1 hal disana. Yaudah, gue nyantai. Toh tugas gue sama seperti salah satu kerjaan gue di roadshow event ini tahun-tahun yang lalu.

Naaaah, ternyata yang terjadi malah lain. Mendadak gue musti bantu belanja sehari sebelum event karena anak-anak sebagian besar udah di lapangan karena musti preparation venue, dan yang lain ditarik ke acaranya Boss Lady. Gue dikasih list belanjaan, ditransferin duit 15 juta, dan belanjalah gue keliling Jakarta. Untung ditemenin CrewCut, kalo gak ya mampus aja gue bawa bertumpuk-tumpuk gembolan kemana-mana. Hiks... Itu baru di preparation.

Nah, pas event udah mulai, entah siapa PIC yang mustinya tugas, atau si bos juga lagi keder dan kurang koordinasi, dan memang si klien ngasih brief cuma jebret aja tanpa penjelasan eksekusi yang diharapkan seperti apa, jadilah bapak-bapak bos dan klien terhormat dikit-dikit nyari gue nyuruh ini-itu yang gue aja gak tau sebenernya musti ngapain. Lah, brief dan konsep event aja gue gak pernah terima. Layout venue aja gue gak dikasih, rundown acara gak tau, pokoknya gak ada brief apa-apa. Namun, dengan kesaktian gue yang setingkat diatas dewa, dan setiap orang yang kepepet pasti nemu aja solusi, gue selama 2 hari ngarang bebas aja tentang segala macam solusi dari masalah yang pada muncul dadakan. Untung semuanya bisa dijalanin.

Emang seru sih. Karena budget dipotong, kita musti kurangin jumlah kru. Semua multitasking, tapi gue udah dibilangin cuma harus bantuin di 1 hal aja. Eh, yang terjadi lain. Pos gue adalah tempat dimana klien dan partner-partnernya ngumpul dan ngerubungin gue untuk update info. Lo bayangin aja kalo lo sebagai kru EO yang harus terima update dari peserta event, trus rekap infonya n the spot sambil ditungguin klien disitu juga, dan ada partner-partnernya yang bos-bos semua nungguin update tiap jam di tenda gue. Sementara bos gue dan anak-anak dikit-dikit nelponin gue minta dicariin solusi ini-itu. Daaaan, para konsumen yang beli produk semua dibawa ke tenda gue untuk database. Gue SENDIRIAN yang ngerjain itu selama 2 hari. Gak sempet makan, sumpah!

Yang gue heran kenapa musti pada nyariin gueeee? Dan sekarang gue rasanya mau pingsan. Capek banget, badan kaku dan pegel, dan gak sempet istirahat. Anak-anak pada libur kelar event, gue malah bikin report event plus meeting dan ngerjain kerjaan kantor baru. Tau deh. Gue mau tidur. Ciao...

Bye, Boyfriend...

Jujur, gue mau pacaran karena cari seneng. Ngapain pacaran kalo yang ada gue jadi ngomel ato emosi melulu? I've been disappointed by Ben for so many times, without even meeting him in person for weeks. I don't know whether it's because we have different circle, different way of thinking, or maybe I simply expect too much of him. So maybe it's my fault. Seeing that, I broke up with him a few weeks ago. But he apologized, so we made up.

So, I tried and tried to make time for us to meet, but he said he couldn't see me because he got typhoid. And when he got better, he caught fever again despite my telling him to get a full rest. Last night, we made an appointment to meet tonight. All day I couldn't contact him. At about 8.30 pm he texted me he wanted to go to a metal gig somewhere with his friends. Shoot, man! He stood me up. Then he said he wanted to take me there with him, I guess because he sensed how I was pissed that our rendezvous was cancelled. Dude, I don't need that kind of thing. Just go and fuck yourself. And please leave me alone.

For the last hour he's been texting me saying sorry and asking to see me tonight. Hello?!?! Where have you been all day, man? You promised me, last night. I don't appreciate your attitude. I have a life. Piss off, a-hole!

Need You, Beach

When you'd been stuck at home for 2 days in a row, you'd know how I'm feeling right now. Spend almost the whole time for sleeping, eating, laying around, watching TV, reading, basically just being a lazybum. And now I feel so bloated. Buekhh...

In this kind of situation, it's no wonder that I'd be imagining of going on an impromptu trip to Bali or Seychelles. I really miss the beach. Even strolling around Ancol's paved beach would be a welcomed moment these days.

Damn, I need air. I need to breathe. I need to be outside. I need to be by the ocean. :((

Getting Stale

Never wanted to be clingy. So, I keep my cool when we barely communicate. Even though I know he doesn't have his cell phone which he lost a couple of weeks ago. Still, he usually borrows his friend's phones or use someone's netbook to log on Facebook. When we don't text, we send messages in Facebook. And he goes to the warnet mostly every night. So, when he seems to be disappearing from earth face these last few days, I kind of get worried. Even pissed. Because if he wants to, he could always find a way to contact me.

What pisses me off is he's the one who said that even if couldn't see each other every weekend or so, at least we must communicate in any way we could everyday. EVERYDAY. I keep my part of the bargain. Why can't he? Stupid asswipe.

I realize that I'm the type of girl who likes touching and physical contact. That's my kind of relationship. I'd like us to meet as often as possible. I can try to work around my schedule if the guy were cooperative. Well, I don't think he is. What he does requires me to commit totally into the relationship. To trust him completely when he's not around. But I want a guy who is available physically. A guy I could touch, I could kiss, a guy who could hold me in his arms. Screw the heart and all those stupid emotions. Just give me his real presence. Otherwise, I might just find the next available guy. :p

It's getting stale. Either I need to think of him in a more casual way, or break him up altogether. Casual seems tempting, though. Let him think we are together. And I'll just put it in my mind that he's a fling. A fuck-buddy. Except, we haven't got to the fucking part, yet. Jeez. Boring, much? Dude... Meh... *rolling eyes*

Ratu Lebah Sinting

Astaga, si Menik udah berubah jadi monster metropolitan. Sereeem... Dandanannya selalu all out, rokoknya udah naik pangkat jadi Marlboro, tiap malem nongkrong di kafe ngecengin pemain band, trus cowoknya banyak banget sampe gue gak bisa inget siapa yang mana. Wuiiiih... Kalo di Sex n The City dia itu selevelan Samantha gitu deh. *nyembah Menik*

Siklus dia naksir-pedekate-trying to get serious-ilfil sama cowok semakin cepat dan sering. Ratu Lebah yang mengerikan. Hey, men. Beware! Run for your life. She's out to hunt all of you and eat you alive. Misalnya nih ya, Senin kita BBM-an dan dia cerita tentang cowok A. Lagi chatting tau2 dia bilang mau siap2 soalnya ada janjian mau jalan sama cowok B. Besoknya cerita kalo dia lagi dideketin sama cowok C. Tapi dia lagi kangen sama cowok D. Nah, ada cowok E mau bawain dia makanan ke kosannya, sementara weekend dia jalan2 ke Ragunan sama cowok F. Mampus gak lo? Dan somewhere along, dia akan cerita konfliknya sama cowok G dan patah hati sama cowok H, and so on, and so on, gue sampe bingung sebenernya dia lagi cerita tentang lebah jantan sial yang mana. Wakakakakakaka...

Kusut banget ya, Gustiiiii... Untung gue berbakat jadi Dokter Cinta. Biarpun sebenernya aliran gue itu adalah Jalan Kemaksiatan Penuh Nafsu. *uupss...* So far, berhasil ngasih dia nasihat2 manis biar dia ada kemajuan, biarpun gue gak tau juga dicerna sama dia dan bisa dijalanin ato gak, secara gue yakin sebenernya dia ada penyakit usir-cowok-sejauh-mungkin-kalo-udah-mulai-mengancam-kepercayaan-diri. Asli, itu nama penyakit paling panjang yang gue pernah tau. Sabar ya, Bengal. Semoga si Menik cepat normal dan hamil. Kalo hamil kan mau gak mau dia musti stick with that one guy and stop making us dizzy and confused about those many guys. Amin... :p

Eh, Awan...

Kayaknya gue malam ini dikerjain deh sama pegawai outlet penjual donat ini. Padahal mah dia yang salah. Gue udah pesen paket kopi dan donat. Dia charge gue kopi doang, donatnya lupa. Trus gue disuruh bayar harga donatnya full. Ya gue gak mau. Gue pesen yang paket kok. Akhirnya sama temennya disuruh void transaksi sebelumnya, gue tinggal bayar selisih harga paketnya. Wew. Trus sekarang gue butuh wi-fi, dan gak bisa aja gitu. Kayaknya dimatiin deh wi-finya sama si pegawai dodol itu. Cih... Nanya kok gak bisa internetan juga gue males. Reseh lu, cong. Awas aja ntar kualat. Cih. Akhirnya gue ngetik pake aplikasi Notes aja di mac. Sekalian iseng. Masih males pulang dan pengen ngetik-ngetik apaan aja deh, soalnya kalo di kantor gak bisa tenang ngeblog. Hahahaa...

Semalem gue juga kesini sama si Ndut. Kita ngobrol rada serius rada lama juga. Sebenermya sih dia yang serius, gue ngerecokin aja sambil coba becandain dia. Soalnya kalo gak dibecandain bisa-bisa dia kebablasan. Kayaknya tu cowok ngebet banget pacaran serius deh. Emangnya dia gak ada kapok atau trauma cerai apa? Gue aja yang belum pernah nikah masih santai gini. Padahal gue yang cewek yang mustinya pengen buru-buru. Hiihh... Pokoknya awas aja lo, Ndut. Kalo lo beneran ngajak serius, bisa-bisa gue ntar minta putus deh. Hiks. Padahal gue udah seneng punya pacar. Bisa pelukan ato berduaan ngapain kek. Tapi gue gak mau kawiiin eh nikaaaah... T_T

Anyway, ada 1 cowok di tim baru di kantor gue, namanya Awan, punya pacar yang lebih tua dan galak. Mereka pacaran udah jaman mereka kuliah, ada kali 5 tahun. Tiap pagi, siang, sore, malam, selalu telponan. Entah laporan lagi ngapain, minta dilaporin pasangannya lagi ngapain, berantem, mesra-mesraan, dll dst dsb. Kalo gue sih liat mereka rada gengges deh. Maksudnya, pacarannya posesif amat yak, tiap detik musti laporan lagi ngapain. Kalo misalnya si Dina lagi kemana dan sebelumnya belum ngasih tau, Awan langsung ngomel, 'Kok kamu gak bilang dari tadi? Aku baru tau kalo kamu mau kesana sekarang...' Dueeeng... Kalo gue punya cowok kayak gitu udah langsung gue cuci otak deh. Ampuuuun. Naaah, kenapa gak ada angin gak ada hujan tau-tau gue cerita tentang Awan? Karena mendadak gue nyadar dia mulai agak gimanaaa gitu sama gue. Suka tau-tau nyender, atau jalan dari kursinya ke tempat gue, nyenggol bahu gue sambil lihat isi monitor gue, beberapa menit kemudian balik lagi ke kursinya. Suka nyamperin gak jelas gitu deh. Padahal sama anak-anak lain dia gak gitu. Sungguh ajaib. Bikin gue curiga aja kan. Apa dia lagi stres sama ceweknya trus pelarian ke gue yak? :p

Aha aha aha, musti hati-hati nih. Antara dia emang naksir gue, atau gue yang kegeeran trus ntar malah naksir dia. Suit suiiww... Pokoknya jangan cari gara-gara deh. Si Dina itu lebih tua, dan jutek judes euy. Mukanya sadis. Bingung juga si Awan bisa bertahun-tahun sama dia gitu. Tapi ya yang namanya juga orang cinta *preeet*. Tapi jangan main nyenggol-nyenggol bahaya ke gue gitu dong, Wan. -______-'

Creeping Bengal Out

Kok punya pacar sama gak punya pacar tuh sama aja rasanya ya? Enaknya pacaran kali ini adalah gue gak usah laporan sama dia tiap kali mau melakukan sesuatu ato pergi kemana. And I don't feel the need to let him know what I am doing at the moment. We barely communicated. On a bad day, we don't text at all, moreover call. On a other (good?) days, he'd text me non-stop and we'd chat on the phone for hours.

We also very barely see each other. Once a week is good enough. With my workload at the moment, I could almost not find time to see him. And when he finished work, he'd almost always so tired.

Not that I'm complaining. It just feels so weird. I've gotten used to the heavy frequency of calls, texts, and meets with my previous boyfriends. Something feels lost now. But on the other side, this is liberating also. Oh, well, there's always 2 sides of everything. The problem is only when each of us want a hug or a kiss or a touch which requiring us to meet, time is often a barrier. Damn.

But, please, hon. Stop insinuating and saying stuffs like rings, fiancees, and scared of losing me, and things like that. It creeps me out. *goosebumps*