Somehow Interconnected

Yesterday was a day full of seemingly random moments which turned to be not so random after all. And it somehow got me contemplating and digging deep into my memory for whatever kinds of existence I have through. Big words for me. Big words that came out of little things.

I've been reading Dee's Supernova books for the past few days. I've finished Ksatria, Putri dan Bintang Jatuh and Akar and now about to start Petir. What she put into her stories are stuffs beyond my imagination. She somehow compiled so many seemingly syfy materials and rewrite it into her novels thus making it easy for her readers to understand the theories. Quantum physics, Freudian and the likes, Mandelbrot, I can't even recall the other names.

Her writings put me into a deja vu mode. Years ago, I read James Redfield's books. The first one was The Celestine Prophesy, followed by The Tenth Insight, then The Secret of Shambala. Basically, the first book told about many levels of insight. You need to go on your own journey to be able to acquire them. It's a somewhat spiritual journey. And you need to believe that everything in life is interconnected. There's always a reason behind every moment, every meeting, et cetera. Nothing is a coincidence. However small the event is, there is always a purpose behind it. To see the enhanced effect of a tiny event, think of The Butterfly Effect. ;) Redfield has made me a believer, though not a participant. No new levels of insights for me, just plain believing. Maybe someday.

Then I started to read Dee's Supernova series. And it just clicks. This is Redfield comprehensively and unbelievably and crazily rewritten. Damn, I love this! My mood of the week shifted to this watchamacallit thingy. I fell into Dee's world, meanwhile, Redfield's teaching came back in a rush. I even read some articles on Fungi and nu age. Hahaha.


So, it's only natural that I would think that all these have their own purpose. Dee's books, how I came across each articles, why I'm even writing this post. Everything might seem random for us mortals, but there must be some invisible pattern in the universe, don't you think? And come to think of it, I started to feel like I could grasp some of the pattern lately. At least, the things that happen in my life. You just have to 'see', not with your eyes, but also your 'eyes' if you know what I mean, *cheeky grin*.


Let's see. Out of nowhere, suddenly Dina texted me saying that she's in Kemang. At around 2 pm. I mean, come on, what can I do at 2 pm? I work at the office at least until 6 pm everyday. And it's not like she asked me to ge there and join her. Hahaa. So I just left it at that, with some question lurking. Then as usual I check my Twitter timeline from time to time. Somehow tweets about female taxi drivers popping intermittently. I left it at that also. When I finished work, because Crewcut was still in Bandung doing a project, I took a ride with Jimmy, intending to just reach the TransJ bus shelter nearby. In the car, we talked about his love affair, my crush on Wes, and risque relationship in general. What our own views on that, his being restricted by the religion, and how I was being more liberal than him. It's funny. He's a devout Moslem, but he's still doing this thing he's doing. :D


The conversation was getting deeper and before we knew it, we already reached Prapanca. How the heck was I going to get home from there? Along the street, there's no single vacant cab. He was going to Mampang, and he said he's passing Kemang. Suddenly I got an epiphany *yeah, right*, I texted Dina asking whether she was still at that cafe in Kemang. She said she was, so Jimmy dropped me off there and he went to pick up his wife. Somehow, it felt like a platonic affair, this weird relationship of mine with him. Hahahahahaa... Anyway, Dina was with her colleague, Aning. There's also Aning's friend from Jogja, Wahyu. He's totally new in Jakarta, but his courage deserved an applause. He went everywhere by public transport, even since his first day here. And this is only his third day. He was going to leave the cafe when I came in, but he had no clue about which public transport to take to get to his destination. So I came to his rescue and told him which angkots and buses he could take. See, there's apparently a reason why I was sent to that place. :D

Aaaand then, when they finished and we're about to pay, the place didn't accept cards. Cash only. The girls had no cash. I did. Once again, Bengal became their hero. Xixixixi... Who would have thought I would be of service like that? :p

Okay, I can't take it anymore. Let's just roll this through faster. We hailed a cab, and the driver is female. Ohmigosh. After all day reading tweets on female taxi drivers. How weirder could the day be? Weird, unless you believe in the above theory. Don't you think? :)))

A day of randomness, causalities... Synchronicity... Cosmic interference/direction? Okay, it IS weird. :/

PS: Would you believe it took me more than 2 months to write this fucking post?

Dream Theater - Another Day

Live another day
Climb a little higher
Find another reason to stay
Ashes in your hands
Mercy in your eyes
If you're searching for a silent sky...

You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So die another day

The coldness of his words
The message in his silence,
'Face the candle to the wind...'
This distance in my voice
Isn't leaving you a choice
So if you're looking for a time to run away...

You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day

They took pictures of our dreams
Ran to hide behind the stairs
And said maybe when it's right for you, they'll fall
But if they don't come down
Resist the need to pull them in
And throw them away
Better to save the mystery
Than surrender to the secret

You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day

20120510, 05:40 pm

Blank.

Empty.

Vacant.

Blue.

*sigh*

Quoting Johnny Depp

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

Bengal is Exhilarated

Never thought would see the day that Bengal is feeling this lost. Again. Whoa... Hahaha... And all this is caused by one unexpected person. Yeah, you guessed right. The guy who had been dubbed as My Voice. Let's just call him Wes, yeah? :)

With some weird support from Jimmy, the supposedly devout but otherwise twisted, I started to try seducing Wes. Jeez, did I really just say 'seduce'? :/ What I mean is I'm trying to get closer to Wes. I think I genuinely like this guy. Indeed, I had been falling in lust with him. But what the heck, there's no other guy I'm attracted to at the moment. Why shouldn't it be Wes? Jimmy said that he's single, so for the first time in my adult life I'm doing someone kosher. So this is somewhat challenging for me. *grins*

So far, we've gone out to the movie once, with him stating that no one else from the office should know about it. But I had told Jim, anyway. Pffftt, me and my blabbermouth. We've been chatting on BBM a few times. And he's no longer working at my office, so I can't see him regularly anymore. *sobs*

Heck yeah! I missed feeling like this! Now, I feel alive, again. Yippeey!

To be or not to be with you, Wes, I'm glad you've managed to penetrate my barriers. THIS IS FUCKIN EXHILARATING!! :D

From The Voice to My Voice

Still captivated by his voice. Thankfully (or damnedly), not for a lot longer. I'll probably be able to hold it until next week. But, damn, I think I'm starting to get caught deeper into his net.

At first, I thought I could think of him only as The Voice. But for the past few days, we have talked about many things. Things I never knew could interest him. So it hasn't been all about work and silly jokes, but also a wide range of topics. On one day we talked about a gadget he recently acquired for his work, same kind of designing pad. Then on another day, we talked about the increasing rate of motorbike gangster that has been a terror in town. Yesterday, we discussed about conspiration theories, ranging from man-made 'natural disasters', Freemasonry and Illuminati, to NII and Jamaah Islamiyah.

And now somehow he had changed into My Voice. It's just that he's not mine. Shit. Have I fallen for him? Everyday I have difficulties restraining my limbs not to touch him. Not to hold him. Stupid Bengal. Shouldn't let an intelligent mind screw with me.

The Voice + Intelligence = Bengal's Doomsday...

Fuck me, please. Literally, honey... :'(

New Voice In My Head

My team recruited a freelance designer for a project. He's actually one of our previous employees, but had resigned years ago. I didn't get any close to him at that time. And since working together for this project, I came to realize that he's got a killer voice.

Shit! Bengal fell hard. For his voice. Shiiiiiit...

We sat side by side for the past 2 or 3 weeks. Imagine how I have to suffer through this sensual Spanish Inquisition.

I don't know who had started this kinda flirty banter. Maybe I've been sending some sort of come hither signal or maybe he became kinda attracted to me, we've been verrry flirty for the past few weeks. A running joke is how we wished there weren't any cameras in the office.

'Pssst, Bengal!' he'd whispered in my ear.

'Huh?' I'd surprisedly looked at him and would find his lips only centimeters from mine.

'If there's no camera...' he'd left the sentence hanging, then he'd wink and grin.

I'd grin widely, 'I know. Pffft...'

We'd both stare back at our own notebook, but once or twice he'd graze my thigh oh so softly and silently laugh. That flirt! :D

And I still have to endure his deep voice every time he speaks.

Damn, flirting is fun! ;)