Life is not so okay. Diva has been too busy going here and there with her boyfriend, Menik is busy with her projects, Kucil is BUSY with her 3 babies (yes, three), and I have too many flings as well as projects at the moment.
Consider Diva is gone. It's no use asking her to meet or have time together like we used to do, she has totally given her life and time to her boyfriend. I can't help but thinking she's changed and became stupid. Jealous? Me? I guess. But putting works aside, I could always spend time with my friends. Not like someone I know. Tsk!
Menik is stressed out with her own works. Big project, big money, and little sleep. Poor her. But, we still meet at least once a week, though.
Kucil, oh my God! She gave birth to twins! And couldn't find any good babysitter till now. So, she resigned from her job, and now dedicates her time fully as a mom and wife. Something I still can't imagine I could do. :p
I miss my friends. I miss my family. Most of my time is spent in my office. Initially, I always ask Diva if she cared to go anywhere with me. But she always said that she's watching her guy performing at gigs. Meaning if I wanted to see her, I had to go to those gigs. I am so bored with his bands. I want to watch others, which Diva won't go until hell freezes over. Well, unless her guy decides he wanted to go too. Stupid! Meanwhile, it's hard for Kucil to leave her house even for lunch because she needs to bring her 3 kids along. Whoa!
So, probably the guys I'm currently with have become some kind of rebounds for me. Hahahahaa! Jeez, I'm so fucking twisted. Using guys because the best friends are all otherwise occupied instead of the other way around. :p
See here, I'm still with Rex. He's still kind of the one for me now, even if I know that I should ditch him. It's funny, because I sometimes picture us together like a sugar daddy and his girl. He got so angry when his bass player asked for my Blackberry Messenger PIN, and it would be weird if I refuse, right? Jealous as he is, I'm also still in a relationshit, yep you read that right, with Perry. This backup guy is even more the jealous type, tsk. He got jealous when his backup guitarist took me home, and it was totally innocent. Wes is still around, and we enjoy many stolen moments at work. Hohohohoo... So, I don't mind that much if I have to work late or even on weekends because I know that I could always count on him to, errr, give me pleasure *hit my own head with brick*. And then Joe, a pop singer I met in a mixing studio for a project. He fucks well, you see. ;)
Rex's bass player is still throwing codes at me, trying so hard to bed me. His fingers are enjoyable, but I don't think it's a good idea to say yes at the moment. Another guy is Eric, which I almost kiss that other night. He's an accomplished flirt, I gotta say. I should keep my eyes open when he's around. Can't hurt to be extra alert. Don't wanna miss a kiss, right? Hehehee...
Anyways, the numero uno bestie, aka Syd, is coming home from Oz for a few days next week. I miss her a lot that I'm taking days off from work when she's here. Can't hardly wait until she arrives. So, yeah, I expect I'll have a blast with her. Woot! :D
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Monday, December 17, 2012
Wes, Pt. 2
Note: This post should have been posted around September or October.
Wes gawe di kantor gue lagi selama beberapa minggu ini. Pas hari pertama dia nongol dia langsung cengar-cengir ngeliat gue kaget, soalnya gak ada yang ngasih tau kalo dia bakal kesini. Hahahaa... A nice surprise, nonetheless. Begitu dia duduk di sebelah gue, langsung kecium aroma wanginya yang khas. Huaaaa, langsung pengen nyenderin kepala di bahunya deh. :p
Ternyata gue kangen juga sama makhluk satu ini, biarpun cueknya setengah mampus. Ato guenya aja yang lagi haus belaian kali? Pokoknya sih karena posisi kerja dia deketan banget sama gue, seharian gue musti nyium wanginya dan dengerin suaranya yang dalem, bikin horny kampret! Tahan, Bengal! Tahaaan...
Seminggu pertama berhasil dilalui dengan aman dan sedikit ngilu menahan sesuatu. *cewek kok ngilu?* Hahahahaa... Masuk minggu kedua, langsung jeder halus.
Jadi, kantor lagi sepi soalnya ada yang lagi keluar, ada yang lagi tidur, ada yang lagi ke klien ato vendor. Di atas cuma ada gue dan Wes, sama si Jimmy, tapi dia di ruangan dalem. Gue pengen ngopi, jadi gue naik ke pantry atas. Becanda ajak si Wes ikut, 'Sayang, ikut aku naik yuk? Mumpung sepi...', sambil ngedipin mata centil tanpa berharap apa-apa. Eh, setan lewat, dia langsung bangun dari kursi, ambil cangkirnya yang kosong dan ngikutin gue. Sampe atas, masih santai, gue isi panci untuk rebus air. Baru nyalain api, Wes manggil dari pintu pantry. 'Pssst, sini...' Gue agak bingung, ngapain nih orang berdiri doang di situ.
'Ngapain lo disitu, Wes? Masuk aja kenapa?'
'Sini duluuu...'
Penasaran, gue samperin ke tempat dia berdiri. Begitu udah deket, tangannya narik gue, gue kaget kirain ada serangga ato apa. Gue ditarik sampe nabrak badannya, terus tangan sebelahnya narik kepala gue dan diciumlah bibir gue dengan suksesnya. Syiiiiiittt! Bego banget gue, ya? Segitu polosnya dan gak nyangka dia bakal beneran berani nyium gue! Ahahahahahaa...
Gue kaget beku, untung udah gak pegang cangkir ato panci. Bisa krompyang berisik dan bikin kehebohan kan. Terus dia berhenti dan melepas pelukannya. Ngeliatin gue sambil nyalain rokok. Gue kaget rada panas dingin dan kepala blank, cuma bisa ngeloyor ke kompor ngecek air. Terus balik lagi ke tempat dia. Berdiri di depan dia, liatin matanya, baru mau inisiatif nyium balik, eh udah keduluan. Rokoknya dibuang, gue dipepet ke tembok sebelah pintu pantry, dan abis deh gue diciumin dari bibir, leher, dan lain-lain. Tangan udah pada liar lah, tangan gue dan tangan dia udah gak jelas kemana-mana. Dan posisi kita tepat dibawah CCTV kantor, jadi gak keliatan juga di monitornya, hahahaha... Sinting.
Lagi asik grinding dan tangannya sibuk di dalem t-shirt gue, mendadak ada bunyi orang naik tangga. Bubaaar... Kita langsung beresin baju masing-masing, gue balik ke posisi depan kompor, dia nyalain rokok sok cool, padahal keliatan celananya berjendol gitu. Hihihihii... Ternyata si Jimmy yang naik dan gak pake ba-bi-bu langsung ngeloyor lewatin kita dan masuk ke mushola yang emang posisinya harus lewatin pantry.
Sport jantung? Banget. Puas? Gak. Mau lagi? Mau. Ada kesempatan? Gak ada sama sekali sampe sekarang.
Zzzzzzzzz....
Wes gawe di kantor gue lagi selama beberapa minggu ini. Pas hari pertama dia nongol dia langsung cengar-cengir ngeliat gue kaget, soalnya gak ada yang ngasih tau kalo dia bakal kesini. Hahahaa... A nice surprise, nonetheless. Begitu dia duduk di sebelah gue, langsung kecium aroma wanginya yang khas. Huaaaa, langsung pengen nyenderin kepala di bahunya deh. :p
Ternyata gue kangen juga sama makhluk satu ini, biarpun cueknya setengah mampus. Ato guenya aja yang lagi haus belaian kali? Pokoknya sih karena posisi kerja dia deketan banget sama gue, seharian gue musti nyium wanginya dan dengerin suaranya yang dalem, bikin horny kampret! Tahan, Bengal! Tahaaan...
Seminggu pertama berhasil dilalui dengan aman dan sedikit ngilu menahan sesuatu. *cewek kok ngilu?* Hahahahaa... Masuk minggu kedua, langsung jeder halus.
Jadi, kantor lagi sepi soalnya ada yang lagi keluar, ada yang lagi tidur, ada yang lagi ke klien ato vendor. Di atas cuma ada gue dan Wes, sama si Jimmy, tapi dia di ruangan dalem. Gue pengen ngopi, jadi gue naik ke pantry atas. Becanda ajak si Wes ikut, 'Sayang, ikut aku naik yuk? Mumpung sepi...', sambil ngedipin mata centil tanpa berharap apa-apa. Eh, setan lewat, dia langsung bangun dari kursi, ambil cangkirnya yang kosong dan ngikutin gue. Sampe atas, masih santai, gue isi panci untuk rebus air. Baru nyalain api, Wes manggil dari pintu pantry. 'Pssst, sini...' Gue agak bingung, ngapain nih orang berdiri doang di situ.
'Ngapain lo disitu, Wes? Masuk aja kenapa?'
'Sini duluuu...'
Penasaran, gue samperin ke tempat dia berdiri. Begitu udah deket, tangannya narik gue, gue kaget kirain ada serangga ato apa. Gue ditarik sampe nabrak badannya, terus tangan sebelahnya narik kepala gue dan diciumlah bibir gue dengan suksesnya. Syiiiiiittt! Bego banget gue, ya? Segitu polosnya dan gak nyangka dia bakal beneran berani nyium gue! Ahahahahahaa...
Gue kaget beku, untung udah gak pegang cangkir ato panci. Bisa krompyang berisik dan bikin kehebohan kan. Terus dia berhenti dan melepas pelukannya. Ngeliatin gue sambil nyalain rokok. Gue kaget rada panas dingin dan kepala blank, cuma bisa ngeloyor ke kompor ngecek air. Terus balik lagi ke tempat dia. Berdiri di depan dia, liatin matanya, baru mau inisiatif nyium balik, eh udah keduluan. Rokoknya dibuang, gue dipepet ke tembok sebelah pintu pantry, dan abis deh gue diciumin dari bibir, leher, dan lain-lain. Tangan udah pada liar lah, tangan gue dan tangan dia udah gak jelas kemana-mana. Dan posisi kita tepat dibawah CCTV kantor, jadi gak keliatan juga di monitornya, hahahaha... Sinting.
Lagi asik grinding dan tangannya sibuk di dalem t-shirt gue, mendadak ada bunyi orang naik tangga. Bubaaar... Kita langsung beresin baju masing-masing, gue balik ke posisi depan kompor, dia nyalain rokok sok cool, padahal keliatan celananya berjendol gitu. Hihihihii... Ternyata si Jimmy yang naik dan gak pake ba-bi-bu langsung ngeloyor lewatin kita dan masuk ke mushola yang emang posisinya harus lewatin pantry.
Sport jantung? Banget. Puas? Gak. Mau lagi? Mau. Ada kesempatan? Gak ada sama sekali sampe sekarang.
Zzzzzzzzz....
Friday, November 23, 2012
Rex's Deadly Text
He was performing on one of his gigs, and when he had a minute in between songs, he grabbed his BlackBerry and texted me 'Love you...'
*melted*
Damn you, Rex. I'm still trying to fight the growing feeling. Please don't make it any harder for me, hun... :')
And then he sang Whitesnake's Is This Love, with his eyes on me all the time.
*gulp*
Help!
*melted*
Damn you, Rex. I'm still trying to fight the growing feeling. Please don't make it any harder for me, hun... :')
And then he sang Whitesnake's Is This Love, with his eyes on me all the time.
*gulp*
Help!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Bengal Meets Rex
Rex, Rex, Rex...
Met this guy a few weeks ago at a pub. He subbed for the regular singer there that day. I couldn't remember what made us swapped BlackBerry PIN, but we did. No overwhelming attraction toward each other, but yeah, I was kinda eyeing him then. He was wearing all black, and he looked devilish, rugged, but somewhat like a regular guy. Admitting that he's over forty, he stood beside my barstool everytime there's a guest come up front and sang. People might think that we're old friends when in fact, we're not. A bit weird.
When the night was over, nothing else happened. He hugged me and kissed my cheeks, a bit lingeringly, but hey, that's just flirting, right? ;) And not until a week later that he started to text me through BBM. I had even almost forgotten about him. Convos were innocent. He was married with 2 kids. He works in legal. And he kept me company with his chats through my lonely nights in a tiny town in Sumatra about two weeks ago. And I was still oblivious to his motive. Hahahaa...
I'm not sure when was the specific moment that our chats turned suggestive. He kept joking that he was gonna send me a picture of his 'gun'. I brushed it off, thinking he was only testing me. Then the next day, he really did. Shiit! It was, uh, big. Big enough to render me speechless and made him worried that he had scared me away. At last, I responded and said something encouraging. After that, things escalated pretty quickly.
We met for a date earlier this week. His wife was out of town. But the damn thing is that I was having my period. So no real action, had to be satisfied with deep, long kisses that night. But we talked a lot, though. We made clear of our own positions in this so-called relationship. He told me about the hell hole he called home, and I told him that I have someone else on the side.
So, there. That's how we hooked up. And now I'm busy and he's busy and we still haven't fucked, yet.
Aaaaaaaagggghhhhh!!! Rex, fuck me, please!
Met this guy a few weeks ago at a pub. He subbed for the regular singer there that day. I couldn't remember what made us swapped BlackBerry PIN, but we did. No overwhelming attraction toward each other, but yeah, I was kinda eyeing him then. He was wearing all black, and he looked devilish, rugged, but somewhat like a regular guy. Admitting that he's over forty, he stood beside my barstool everytime there's a guest come up front and sang. People might think that we're old friends when in fact, we're not. A bit weird.
When the night was over, nothing else happened. He hugged me and kissed my cheeks, a bit lingeringly, but hey, that's just flirting, right? ;) And not until a week later that he started to text me through BBM. I had even almost forgotten about him. Convos were innocent. He was married with 2 kids. He works in legal. And he kept me company with his chats through my lonely nights in a tiny town in Sumatra about two weeks ago. And I was still oblivious to his motive. Hahahaa...
I'm not sure when was the specific moment that our chats turned suggestive. He kept joking that he was gonna send me a picture of his 'gun'. I brushed it off, thinking he was only testing me. Then the next day, he really did. Shiit! It was, uh, big. Big enough to render me speechless and made him worried that he had scared me away. At last, I responded and said something encouraging. After that, things escalated pretty quickly.
We met for a date earlier this week. His wife was out of town. But the damn thing is that I was having my period. So no real action, had to be satisfied with deep, long kisses that night. But we talked a lot, though. We made clear of our own positions in this so-called relationship. He told me about the hell hole he called home, and I told him that I have someone else on the side.
So, there. That's how we hooked up. And now I'm busy and he's busy and we still haven't fucked, yet.
Aaaaaaaagggghhhhh!!! Rex, fuck me, please!
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
@BidadariBengal on Twitter
I got a Twitter account, now. You can follow me, just click @BidadariBengal. :D
Err, being an anonymous account, I now can do the cowardly things such as bashing and trolling the people I don't like in real life. Still, strictly #nomention, of course. :p
And I can use this account to satisfy my curiosity about those sex accounts on Twitter, which I will not do with my real account. After all, a girl needs to jaga image juga kan, ciin...
Oh well, enjoy it. Follow me if you will. But I don't do that follback thingies. I only follow those I want to. No hard feelings. ;)
Err, being an anonymous account, I now can do the cowardly things such as bashing and trolling the people I don't like in real life. Still, strictly #nomention, of course. :p
And I can use this account to satisfy my curiosity about those sex accounts on Twitter, which I will not do with my real account. After all, a girl needs to jaga image juga kan, ciin...
Oh well, enjoy it. Follow me if you will. But I don't do that follback thingies. I only follow those I want to. No hard feelings. ;)
Friday, July 20, 2012
Somehow Interconnected
Yesterday was a day full of seemingly random moments which turned to be not so random after all. And it somehow got me contemplating and digging deep into my memory for whatever kinds of existence I have through. Big words for me. Big words that came out of little things.
I've been reading Dee's Supernova books for the past few days. I've finished Ksatria, Putri dan Bintang Jatuh and Akar and now about to start Petir. What she put into her stories are stuffs beyond my imagination. She somehow compiled so many seemingly syfy materials and rewrite it into her novels thus making it easy for her readers to understand the theories. Quantum physics, Freudian and the likes, Mandelbrot, I can't even recall the other names.
Her writings put me into a deja vu mode. Years ago, I read James Redfield's books. The first one was The Celestine Prophesy, followed by The Tenth Insight, then The Secret of Shambala. Basically, the first book told about many levels of insight. You need to go on your own journey to be able to acquire them. It's a somewhat spiritual journey. And you need to believe that everything in life is interconnected. There's always a reason behind every moment, every meeting, et cetera. Nothing is a coincidence. However small the event is, there is always a purpose behind it. To see the enhanced effect of a tiny event, think of The Butterfly Effect. ;) Redfield has made me a believer, though not a participant. No new levels of insights for me, just plain believing. Maybe someday.
Then I started to read Dee's Supernova series. And it just clicks. This is Redfield comprehensively and unbelievably and crazily rewritten. Damn, I love this! My mood of the week shifted to this watchamacallit thingy. I fell into Dee's world, meanwhile, Redfield's teaching came back in a rush. I even read some articles on Fungi and nu age. Hahaha.
So, it's only natural that I would think that all these have their own purpose. Dee's books, how I came across each articles, why I'm even writing this post. Everything might seem random for us mortals, but there must be some invisible pattern in the universe, don't you think? And come to think of it, I started to feel like I could grasp some of the pattern lately. At least, the things that happen in my life. You just have to 'see', not with your eyes, but also your 'eyes' if you know what I mean, *cheeky grin*.
Let's see. Out of nowhere, suddenly Dina texted me saying that she's in Kemang. At around 2 pm. I mean, come on, what can I do at 2 pm? I work at the office at least until 6 pm everyday. And it's not like she asked me to ge there and join her. Hahaa. So I just left it at that, with some question lurking. Then as usual I check my Twitter timeline from time to time. Somehow tweets about female taxi drivers popping intermittently. I left it at that also. When I finished work, because Crewcut was still in Bandung doing a project, I took a ride with Jimmy, intending to just reach the TransJ bus shelter nearby. In the car, we talked about his love affair, my crush on Wes, and risque relationship in general. What our own views on that, his being restricted by the religion, and how I was being more liberal than him. It's funny. He's a devout Moslem, but he's still doing this thing he's doing. :D
The conversation was getting deeper and before we knew it, we already reached Prapanca. How the heck was I going to get home from there? Along the street, there's no single vacant cab. He was going to Mampang, and he said he's passing Kemang. Suddenly I got an epiphany *yeah, right*, I texted Dina asking whether she was still at that cafe in Kemang. She said she was, so Jimmy dropped me off there and he went to pick up his wife. Somehow, it felt like a platonic affair, this weird relationship of mine with him. Hahahahahaa... Anyway, Dina was with her colleague, Aning. There's also Aning's friend from Jogja, Wahyu. He's totally new in Jakarta, but his courage deserved an applause. He went everywhere by public transport, even since his first day here. And this is only his third day. He was going to leave the cafe when I came in, but he had no clue about which public transport to take to get to his destination. So I came to his rescue and told him which angkots and buses he could take. See, there's apparently a reason why I was sent to that place. :D
Aaaand then, when they finished and we're about to pay, the place didn't accept cards. Cash only. The girls had no cash. I did. Once again, Bengal became their hero. Xixixixi... Who would have thought I would be of service like that? :p
Okay, I can't take it anymore. Let's just roll this through faster. We hailed a cab, and the driver is female. Ohmigosh. After all day reading tweets on female taxi drivers. How weirder could the day be? Weird, unless you believe in the above theory. Don't you think? :)))
A day of randomness, causalities... Synchronicity... Cosmic interference/direction? Okay, it IS weird. :/
PS: Would you believe it took me more than 2 months to write this fucking post?
I've been reading Dee's Supernova books for the past few days. I've finished Ksatria, Putri dan Bintang Jatuh and Akar and now about to start Petir. What she put into her stories are stuffs beyond my imagination. She somehow compiled so many seemingly syfy materials and rewrite it into her novels thus making it easy for her readers to understand the theories. Quantum physics, Freudian and the likes, Mandelbrot, I can't even recall the other names.
Her writings put me into a deja vu mode. Years ago, I read James Redfield's books. The first one was The Celestine Prophesy, followed by The Tenth Insight, then The Secret of Shambala. Basically, the first book told about many levels of insight. You need to go on your own journey to be able to acquire them. It's a somewhat spiritual journey. And you need to believe that everything in life is interconnected. There's always a reason behind every moment, every meeting, et cetera. Nothing is a coincidence. However small the event is, there is always a purpose behind it. To see the enhanced effect of a tiny event, think of The Butterfly Effect. ;) Redfield has made me a believer, though not a participant. No new levels of insights for me, just plain believing. Maybe someday.
Then I started to read Dee's Supernova series. And it just clicks. This is Redfield comprehensively and unbelievably and crazily rewritten. Damn, I love this! My mood of the week shifted to this watchamacallit thingy. I fell into Dee's world, meanwhile, Redfield's teaching came back in a rush. I even read some articles on Fungi and nu age. Hahaha.
So, it's only natural that I would think that all these have their own purpose. Dee's books, how I came across each articles, why I'm even writing this post. Everything might seem random for us mortals, but there must be some invisible pattern in the universe, don't you think? And come to think of it, I started to feel like I could grasp some of the pattern lately. At least, the things that happen in my life. You just have to 'see', not with your eyes, but also your 'eyes' if you know what I mean, *cheeky grin*.
Let's see. Out of nowhere, suddenly Dina texted me saying that she's in Kemang. At around 2 pm. I mean, come on, what can I do at 2 pm? I work at the office at least until 6 pm everyday. And it's not like she asked me to ge there and join her. Hahaa. So I just left it at that, with some question lurking. Then as usual I check my Twitter timeline from time to time. Somehow tweets about female taxi drivers popping intermittently. I left it at that also. When I finished work, because Crewcut was still in Bandung doing a project, I took a ride with Jimmy, intending to just reach the TransJ bus shelter nearby. In the car, we talked about his love affair, my crush on Wes, and risque relationship in general. What our own views on that, his being restricted by the religion, and how I was being more liberal than him. It's funny. He's a devout Moslem, but he's still doing this thing he's doing. :D
The conversation was getting deeper and before we knew it, we already reached Prapanca. How the heck was I going to get home from there? Along the street, there's no single vacant cab. He was going to Mampang, and he said he's passing Kemang. Suddenly I got an epiphany *yeah, right*, I texted Dina asking whether she was still at that cafe in Kemang. She said she was, so Jimmy dropped me off there and he went to pick up his wife. Somehow, it felt like a platonic affair, this weird relationship of mine with him. Hahahahahaa... Anyway, Dina was with her colleague, Aning. There's also Aning's friend from Jogja, Wahyu. He's totally new in Jakarta, but his courage deserved an applause. He went everywhere by public transport, even since his first day here. And this is only his third day. He was going to leave the cafe when I came in, but he had no clue about which public transport to take to get to his destination. So I came to his rescue and told him which angkots and buses he could take. See, there's apparently a reason why I was sent to that place. :D
Aaaand then, when they finished and we're about to pay, the place didn't accept cards. Cash only. The girls had no cash. I did. Once again, Bengal became their hero. Xixixixi... Who would have thought I would be of service like that? :p
Okay, I can't take it anymore. Let's just roll this through faster. We hailed a cab, and the driver is female. Ohmigosh. After all day reading tweets on female taxi drivers. How weirder could the day be? Weird, unless you believe in the above theory. Don't you think? :)))
A day of randomness, causalities... Synchronicity... Cosmic interference/direction? Okay, it IS weird. :/
PS: Would you believe it took me more than 2 months to write this fucking post?
Friday, July 06, 2012
Dream Theater - Another Day
Live another day
Climb a little higher
Find another reason to stay
Ashes in your hands
Mercy in your eyes
If you're searching for a silent sky...
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So die another day
The coldness of his words
The message in his silence,
'Face the candle to the wind...'
This distance in my voice
Isn't leaving you a choice
So if you're looking for a time to run away...
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day
They took pictures of our dreams
Ran to hide behind the stairs
And said maybe when it's right for you, they'll fall
But if they don't come down
Resist the need to pull them in
And throw them away
Better to save the mystery
Than surrender to the secret
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day
Climb a little higher
Find another reason to stay
Ashes in your hands
Mercy in your eyes
If you're searching for a silent sky...
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So die another day
The coldness of his words
The message in his silence,
'Face the candle to the wind...'
This distance in my voice
Isn't leaving you a choice
So if you're looking for a time to run away...
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day
They took pictures of our dreams
Ran to hide behind the stairs
And said maybe when it's right for you, they'll fall
But if they don't come down
Resist the need to pull them in
And throw them away
Better to save the mystery
Than surrender to the secret
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day
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