Monday, December 17, 2012

Wes, Pt. 2

Note: This post should have been posted around September or October.

Wes gawe di kantor gue lagi selama beberapa minggu ini. Pas hari pertama dia nongol dia langsung cengar-cengir ngeliat gue kaget, soalnya gak ada yang ngasih tau kalo dia bakal kesini. Hahahaa... A nice surprise, nonetheless. Begitu dia duduk di sebelah gue, langsung kecium aroma wanginya yang khas. Huaaaa, langsung pengen nyenderin kepala di bahunya deh. :p

Ternyata gue kangen juga sama makhluk satu ini, biarpun cueknya setengah mampus. Ato guenya aja yang lagi haus belaian kali? Pokoknya sih karena posisi kerja dia deketan banget sama gue, seharian gue musti nyium wanginya dan dengerin suaranya yang dalem, bikin horny kampret! Tahan, Bengal! Tahaaan...

Seminggu pertama berhasil dilalui dengan aman dan sedikit ngilu menahan sesuatu. *cewek kok ngilu?* Hahahahaa... Masuk minggu kedua, langsung jeder halus.

Jadi, kantor lagi sepi soalnya ada yang lagi keluar, ada yang lagi tidur, ada yang lagi ke klien ato vendor. Di atas cuma ada gue dan Wes, sama si Jimmy, tapi dia di ruangan dalem. Gue pengen ngopi, jadi gue naik ke pantry atas. Becanda ajak si Wes ikut, 'Sayang, ikut aku naik yuk? Mumpung sepi...', sambil ngedipin mata centil tanpa berharap apa-apa. Eh, setan lewat, dia langsung bangun dari kursi, ambil cangkirnya yang kosong dan ngikutin gue. Sampe atas, masih santai, gue isi panci untuk rebus air. Baru nyalain api, Wes manggil dari pintu pantry. 'Pssst, sini...' Gue agak bingung, ngapain nih orang berdiri doang di situ.

'Ngapain lo disitu, Wes? Masuk aja kenapa?'

'Sini duluuu...'

Penasaran, gue samperin ke tempat dia berdiri. Begitu udah deket, tangannya narik gue, gue kaget kirain ada serangga ato apa. Gue ditarik sampe nabrak badannya, terus tangan sebelahnya narik kepala gue dan diciumlah bibir gue dengan suksesnya. Syiiiiiittt! Bego banget gue, ya? Segitu polosnya dan gak nyangka dia bakal beneran berani nyium gue! Ahahahahahaa...

Gue kaget beku, untung udah gak pegang cangkir ato panci. Bisa krompyang berisik dan bikin kehebohan kan. Terus dia berhenti dan melepas pelukannya. Ngeliatin gue sambil nyalain rokok. Gue kaget rada panas dingin dan kepala blank, cuma bisa ngeloyor ke kompor ngecek air. Terus balik lagi ke tempat dia. Berdiri di depan dia, liatin matanya, baru mau inisiatif nyium balik, eh udah keduluan. Rokoknya dibuang, gue dipepet ke tembok sebelah pintu pantry, dan abis deh gue diciumin dari bibir, leher, dan lain-lain. Tangan udah pada liar lah, tangan gue dan tangan dia udah gak jelas kemana-mana. Dan posisi kita tepat dibawah CCTV kantor, jadi gak keliatan juga di monitornya, hahahaha... Sinting. 

Lagi asik grinding dan tangannya sibuk di dalem t-shirt gue, mendadak ada bunyi orang naik tangga. Bubaaar... Kita langsung beresin baju masing-masing, gue balik ke posisi depan kompor, dia nyalain rokok sok cool, padahal keliatan celananya berjendol gitu. Hihihihii... Ternyata si Jimmy yang naik dan gak pake ba-bi-bu langsung ngeloyor lewatin kita dan masuk ke mushola yang emang posisinya harus lewatin pantry.

Sport jantung? Banget. Puas? Gak. Mau lagi? Mau. Ada kesempatan? Gak ada sama sekali sampe sekarang.

Zzzzzzzzz....

Friday, November 23, 2012

Rex's Deadly Text

He was performing on one of his gigs, and when he had a minute in between songs, he grabbed his BlackBerry and texted me 'Love you...'

*melted*

Damn you, Rex. I'm still trying to fight the growing feeling. Please don't make it any harder for me, hun... :')

And then he sang Whitesnake's Is This Love, with his eyes on me all the time. 

*gulp*

Help!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Bengal Meets Rex

Rex, Rex, Rex...

Met this guy a few weeks ago at a pub. He subbed for the regular singer there that day. I couldn't remember what made us swapped BlackBerry PIN, but we did. No overwhelming attraction toward each other, but yeah, I was kinda eyeing him then. He was wearing all black, and he looked devilish, rugged, but somewhat like a regular guy. Admitting that he's over forty, he stood beside my barstool everytime there's a guest come up front and sang. People might think that we're old friends when in fact, we're not. A bit weird.

When the night was over, nothing else happened. He hugged me and kissed my cheeks, a bit lingeringly, but hey, that's just flirting, right? ;) And not until a week later that he started to text me through BBM. I had even almost forgotten about him. Convos were innocent. He was married with 2 kids. He works in legal. And he kept me company with his chats through my lonely nights in a tiny town in Sumatra about two weeks ago. And I was still oblivious to his motive. Hahahaa...

 I'm not sure when was the specific moment that our chats turned suggestive. He kept joking that he was gonna send me a picture of his 'gun'. I brushed it off, thinking he was only testing me. Then the next day, he really did. Shiit! It was, uh, big. Big enough to render me speechless and made him worried that he had scared me away. At last, I responded and said something encouraging. After that, things escalated pretty quickly. 

We met for a date earlier this week. His wife was out of town. But the damn thing is that I was having my period. So no real action, had to be satisfied with deep, long kisses that night. But we talked a lot, though. We made clear of our own positions in this so-called relationship. He told me about the hell hole he called home, and I told him that I have someone else on the side. 

So, there. That's how we hooked up. And now I'm busy and he's busy and we still haven't fucked, yet. 

Aaaaaaaagggghhhhh!!! Rex, fuck me, please!

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

@BidadariBengal on Twitter

I got a Twitter account, now. You can follow me, just click @BidadariBengal. :D

Err, being an anonymous account, I now can do the cowardly things such as bashing and trolling the people I don't like in real life. Still, strictly #nomention, of course. :p

And I can use this account to satisfy my curiosity about those sex accounts on Twitter, which I will not do with my real account. After all, a girl needs to jaga image juga kan, ciin...

Oh well, enjoy it. Follow me if you will. But I don't do that follback thingies. I only follow those I want to. No hard feelings. ;)

Friday, July 20, 2012

Somehow Interconnected

Yesterday was a day full of seemingly random moments which turned to be not so random after all. And it somehow got me contemplating and digging deep into my memory for whatever kinds of existence I have through. Big words for me. Big words that came out of little things.

I've been reading Dee's Supernova books for the past few days. I've finished Ksatria, Putri dan Bintang Jatuh and Akar and now about to start Petir. What she put into her stories are stuffs beyond my imagination. She somehow compiled so many seemingly syfy materials and rewrite it into her novels thus making it easy for her readers to understand the theories. Quantum physics, Freudian and the likes, Mandelbrot, I can't even recall the other names.


Her writings put me into a deja vu mode. Years ago, I read James Redfield's books. The first one was The Celestine Prophesy, followed by The Tenth Insight, then The Secret of Shambala. Basically, the first book told about many levels of insight. You need to go on your own journey to be able to acquire them. It's a somewhat spiritual journey. And you need to believe that everything in life is interconnected. There's always a reason behind every moment, every meeting, et cetera. Nothing is a coincidence. However small the event is, there is always a purpose behind it. To see the enhanced effect of a tiny event, think of The Butterfly Effect. ;) Redfield has made me a believer, though not a participant. No new levels of insights for me, just plain believing. Maybe someday.

Then I started to read Dee's Supernova series. And it just clicks. This is Redfield comprehensively and unbelievably and crazily rewritten. Damn, I love this! My mood of the week shifted to this watchamacallit thingy. I fell into Dee's world, meanwhile, Redfield's teaching came back in a rush. I even read some articles on Fungi and nu age. Hahaha.


So, it's only natural that I would think that all these have their own purpose. Dee's books, how I came across each articles, why I'm even writing this post. Everything might seem random for us mortals, but there must be some invisible pattern in the universe, don't you think? And come to think of it, I started to feel like I could grasp some of the pattern lately. At least, the things that happen in my life. You just have to 'see', not with your eyes, but also your 'eyes' if you know what I mean, *cheeky grin*.


Let's see. Out of nowhere, suddenly Dina texted me saying that she's in Kemang. At around 2 pm. I mean, come on, what can I do at 2 pm? I work at the office at least until 6 pm everyday. And it's not like she asked me to ge there and join her. Hahaa. So I just left it at that, with some question lurking. Then as usual I check my Twitter timeline from time to time. Somehow tweets about female taxi drivers popping intermittently. I left it at that also. When I finished work, because Crewcut was still in Bandung doing a project, I took a ride with Jimmy, intending to just reach the TransJ bus shelter nearby. In the car, we talked about his love affair, my crush on Wes, and risque relationship in general. What our own views on that, his being restricted by the religion, and how I was being more liberal than him. It's funny. He's a devout Moslem, but he's still doing this thing he's doing. :D


The conversation was getting deeper and before we knew it, we already reached Prapanca. How the heck was I going to get home from there? Along the street, there's no single vacant cab. He was going to Mampang, and he said he's passing Kemang. Suddenly I got an epiphany *yeah, right*, I texted Dina asking whether she was still at that cafe in Kemang. She said she was, so Jimmy dropped me off there and he went to pick up his wife. Somehow, it felt like a platonic affair, this weird relationship of mine with him. Hahahahahaa... Anyway, Dina was with her colleague, Aning. There's also Aning's friend from Jogja, Wahyu. He's totally new in Jakarta, but his courage deserved an applause. He went everywhere by public transport, even since his first day here. And this is only his third day. He was going to leave the cafe when I came in, but he had no clue about which public transport to take to get to his destination. So I came to his rescue and told him which angkots and buses he could take. See, there's apparently a reason why I was sent to that place. :D

Aaaand then, when they finished and we're about to pay, the place didn't accept cards. Cash only. The girls had no cash. I did. Once again, Bengal became their hero. Xixixixi... Who would have thought I would be of service like that? :p

Okay, I can't take it anymore. Let's just roll this through faster. We hailed a cab, and the driver is female. Ohmigosh. After all day reading tweets on female taxi drivers. How weirder could the day be? Weird, unless you believe in the above theory. Don't you think? :)))

A day of randomness, causalities... Synchronicity... Cosmic interference/direction? Okay, it IS weird. :/

PS: Would you believe it took me more than 2 months to write this fucking post?

Friday, July 06, 2012

Dream Theater - Another Day



Live another day
Climb a little higher
Find another reason to stay
Ashes in your hands
Mercy in your eyes
If you're searching for a silent sky...

You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So die another day

The coldness of his words
The message in his silence,
'Face the candle to the wind...'
This distance in my voice
Isn't leaving you a choice
So if you're looking for a time to run away...

You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day

They took pictures of our dreams
Ran to hide behind the stairs
And said maybe when it's right for you, they'll fall
But if they don't come down
Resist the need to pull them in
And throw them away
Better to save the mystery
Than surrender to the secret

You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day

Thursday, May 10, 2012

20120510, 05:40 pm

Blank.

Empty.

Vacant.

Blue.

*sigh*

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Quoting Johnny Depp

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Bengal is Exhilarated

Never thought would see the day that Bengal is feeling this lost. Again. Whoa... Hahaha... And all this is caused by one unexpected person. Yeah, you guessed right. The guy who had been dubbed as My Voice. Let's just call him Wes, yeah? :)

With some weird support from Jimmy, the supposedly devout but otherwise twisted, I started to try seducing Wes. Jeez, did I really just say 'seduce'? :/ What I mean is I'm trying to get closer to Wes. I think I genuinely like this guy. Indeed, I had been falling in lust with him. But what the heck, there's no other guy I'm attracted to at the moment. Why shouldn't it be Wes? Jimmy said that he's single, so for the first time in my adult life I'm doing someone kosher. So this is somewhat challenging for me. *grins*

So far, we've gone out to the movie once, with him stating that no one else from the office should know about it. But I had told Jim, anyway. Pffftt, me and my blabbermouth. We've been chatting on BBM a few times. And he's no longer working at my office, so I can't see him regularly anymore. *sobs*

Heck yeah! I missed feeling like this! Now, I feel alive, again. Yippeey!

To be or not to be with you, Wes, I'm glad you've managed to penetrate my barriers. THIS IS FUCKIN EXHILARATING!! :D

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

From The Voice to My Voice


Still captivated by his voice. Thankfully (or damnedly), not for a lot longer. I'll probably be able to hold it until next week. But, damn, I think I'm starting to get caught deeper into his net.

At first, I thought I could think of him only as The Voice. But for the past few days, we have talked about many things. Things I never knew could interest him. So it hasn't been all about work and silly jokes, but also a wide range of topics. On one day we talked about a gadget he recently acquired for his work, same kind of designing pad. Then on another day, we talked about the increasing rate of motorbike gangster that has been a terror in town. Yesterday, we discussed about conspiration theories, ranging from man-made 'natural disasters', Freemasonry and Illuminati, to NII and Jamaah Islamiyah.

And now somehow he had changed into My Voice. It's just that he's not mine. Shit. Have I fallen for him? Everyday I have difficulties restraining my limbs not to touch him. Not to hold him. Stupid Bengal. Shouldn't let an intelligent mind screw with me.

The Voice + Intelligence = Bengal's Doomsday...

Fuck me, please. Literally, honey... :'(

Thursday, April 05, 2012

New Voice In My Head

My team recruited a freelance designer for a project. He's actually one of our previous employees, but had resigned years ago. I didn't get any close to him at that time. And since working together for this project, I came to realize that he's got a killer voice.

Shit! Bengal fell hard. For his voice. Shiiiiiit...

We sat side by side for the past 2 or 3 weeks. Imagine how I have to suffer through this sensual Spanish Inquisition.

I don't know who had started this kinda flirty banter. Maybe I've been sending some sort of come hither signal or maybe he became kinda attracted to me, we've been verrry flirty for the past few weeks. A running joke is how we wished there weren't any cameras in the office.

'Pssst, Bengal!' he'd whispered in my ear.

'Huh?' I'd surprisedly looked at him and would find his lips only centimeters from mine.

'If there's no camera...' he'd left the sentence hanging, then he'd wink and grin.

I'd grin widely, 'I know. Pffft...'

We'd both stare back at our own notebook, but once or twice he'd graze my thigh oh so softly and silently laugh. That flirt! :D

And I still have to endure his deep voice every time he speaks.

Damn, flirting is fun! ;)

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Bengal Stres Deadline

Mendadak serangan mendadak dari kerjaan selama 1-2 minggu terakhir. Stres deadline yang sampe kebawa mimpi, sampe males makan. Aneh memang. Ini dilema buat gue. Di 1 sisi, berat gue turun dikit, di sisi yang lain gue beberapa kali melewatkan makanan enak tanpa ada penyesalan. Bener-bener bukan gue.

Help me. I just want to have my free time back. Sheeesh...

Gila aja, dari yang biasanya gue santai dan main terus, tau2 musti pegang 5 proyek sekaligus. Semuanya deadline, dan biarpun dikerjain satu per satu, bukannya load berkurang, malah nambah terus. Mamiiiii...

I miss Agy. I met him last Sunday by accident. I want him, now. Release me from this stress, pleeeease... T.T

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bengal's 1st 2012 Post

So, I'm about two weeks late, but anyway, I want to say Happy New Year 2012 to you all. May this year be a satisfying one in all your aspects of life.

So far, my first two weeks has been deemed flat and boring. I've done nothing but sleep, work, and eat.

Even this post is so boring. Pfffft...