HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009, Everyone...
Hopefully this is going to be a good year for all of us, especially me. :D
Hopefully this is going to be a good year for all of us, especially me. :D
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
It Was ThisClose... WTF???!!!
Went swimming today at Cilandak Sports Center. It was only for about an hour, but I swam intensely. Uh, and got some lingering looks from some of the guys. And I realized when I took a look in the mirror afterward that my swimsuit was almost partially open, well, enough to show some cleavage. Jeez, charity much?? Get a life, dude...
After that, I moved to my old workplace, a broadcast station. Let's call it ThatTV. Had dinner at the food court, got in touch with some of my colleagues, and basically had a good time. And then we decided to go out and one thing led to another, there were just the three of us left. The others had gone home.
One crazy notion turned out to get more intense. Uh, fuckin' threesome??? With me??? Ahahahahhaaa... Shiiite... Uh, things got more serious, I must make up my mind. My friend would only go if I said yes. That means I had to ask Batman if he were available. No way I'd do threesome with her. I wouldn't even joke about it. So I and my friend went by taxi while I tried to contact Batman, and her guy went by motorbike. I called Batman, and said in a no nonsense tone, 'Do you want to do this now?'
'SERIOUSLY???' he sounded shocked. We had been texting the whole afternoon about the possibility of doing it as soon as possible. But who would have thought that the chance would come at that minute??
'Yes, Batman. I'm totally serious.' Okay, I don't need to go into details of how I got into this situation in the first place. You've never heard of my friend and his guy before now. But I like his straightforwardness. That made me decided 'what the heck' and see if it's really possible. Plus the fact that those texting before got me in such a state that I'd looooove to finish it once and for all. Okay, not once, and definitely not for all. :D
Batman was ecstatic. I was ecstatic. But reality kicked in. And once again, I don't want to go into details, suffice it to say, we had to postpone. AGAIN. Please have mercy on us... After the second 'kentang', and after being thisclose to doing this shit??? FUCK, man!!!!
Then I went home.
Kill me now... Please...
After that, I moved to my old workplace, a broadcast station. Let's call it ThatTV. Had dinner at the food court, got in touch with some of my colleagues, and basically had a good time. And then we decided to go out and one thing led to another, there were just the three of us left. The others had gone home.
One crazy notion turned out to get more intense. Uh, fuckin' threesome??? With me??? Ahahahahhaaa... Shiiite... Uh, things got more serious, I must make up my mind. My friend would only go if I said yes. That means I had to ask Batman if he were available. No way I'd do threesome with her. I wouldn't even joke about it. So I and my friend went by taxi while I tried to contact Batman, and her guy went by motorbike. I called Batman, and said in a no nonsense tone, 'Do you want to do this now?'
'SERIOUSLY???' he sounded shocked. We had been texting the whole afternoon about the possibility of doing it as soon as possible. But who would have thought that the chance would come at that minute??
'Yes, Batman. I'm totally serious.' Okay, I don't need to go into details of how I got into this situation in the first place. You've never heard of my friend and his guy before now. But I like his straightforwardness. That made me decided 'what the heck' and see if it's really possible. Plus the fact that those texting before got me in such a state that I'd looooove to finish it once and for all. Okay, not once, and definitely not for all. :D
Batman was ecstatic. I was ecstatic. But reality kicked in. And once again, I don't want to go into details, suffice it to say, we had to postpone. AGAIN. Please have mercy on us... After the second 'kentang', and after being thisclose to doing this shit??? FUCK, man!!!!
Then I went home.
Kill me now... Please...
Monday, December 29, 2008
Transporter 3
I just got back from the cineplex. Watched Transporter 3. Can't say I like it that much. I expected it to be better than the first and second installments, but it turned out to be worse. I anticipated cool actions, more cars screeching, more martial arts, I expected it to be totally action-packed. Too much rules broken by the Transporter, too many romantic scenes, it's so un-Transporter. So un-Frank Martin. Sigh...Disappointed much? Not really. It's quite entertaining. The only problem is the movie doesn't live up to my expectation. Damn!!
Here are the movies I want to watch:
- Eagle Eye
- The Day The Earth Stood Still
- The X-Files
Second Real Contact
Yesterday I went to PIM and spent the afternoon listening to the Y Quartet playing their music. The place was so much emptier, probably because half or more of Jakarta were already out of town.
After that, I bought a book in Gramedia and went to Starbucks. A good coffee, a good book, and a good ciggies, what more could I ask for?? It was bliss. Hadn't done this in a veeeerrrry long time. I called my gal pals before, asking if they'd want to meet. But they couldn't make it.
And then, when it got dark, Batman called. We agreed to meet. He picked me up, and then we ate some porridge at Wiwid. I knew he'd been drinking. And it was hilarious watching him struggling to look less intoxicated. Hahaaa... OK, so it wasn't that bad, but it was still funny for me. When he got better, we went for a ride on his motorbike, just going and going, destination nowhere. The wind was good, the company was more than okay, overall, I enjoyed it. But I, hell, we want more. So, we decided to karaoke again.
Uh, tongue at the second song. Getting faster, were we? Heheheee... More songs went unsung. I don't have to go into details, right?? Suffice it to say it was waaaay hotter than the first time. :D
Oh, and yeah, he did go down there... Awww...
Anyway, I'm chatting with my best friend on YM. Planning to meet her tomorrow at her office, my previous workplace, actually. I miss hanging out with them. I know it's not even a week, but I've become a people person now. I like having my friends around me. So different than what I used to be. Hmmm... Later, I might be going for a swim. But it's not been decided yet. Waiting for my family to come home, so I can go out. Switching roles as the 'Juru Kunci' at home.
Will blog again later. xoxoxoxoxo...
After that, I bought a book in Gramedia and went to Starbucks. A good coffee, a good book, and a good ciggies, what more could I ask for?? It was bliss. Hadn't done this in a veeeerrrry long time. I called my gal pals before, asking if they'd want to meet. But they couldn't make it.
And then, when it got dark, Batman called. We agreed to meet. He picked me up, and then we ate some porridge at Wiwid. I knew he'd been drinking. And it was hilarious watching him struggling to look less intoxicated. Hahaaa... OK, so it wasn't that bad, but it was still funny for me. When he got better, we went for a ride on his motorbike, just going and going, destination nowhere. The wind was good, the company was more than okay, overall, I enjoyed it. But I, hell, we want more. So, we decided to karaoke again.
Uh, tongue at the second song. Getting faster, were we? Heheheee... More songs went unsung. I don't have to go into details, right?? Suffice it to say it was waaaay hotter than the first time. :D
Oh, and yeah, he did go down there... Awww...
Anyway, I'm chatting with my best friend on YM. Planning to meet her tomorrow at her office, my previous workplace, actually. I miss hanging out with them. I know it's not even a week, but I've become a people person now. I like having my friends around me. So different than what I used to be. Hmmm... Later, I might be going for a swim. But it's not been decided yet. Waiting for my family to come home, so I can go out. Switching roles as the 'Juru Kunci' at home.
Will blog again later. xoxoxoxoxo...
Saturday, December 27, 2008
12272008, Mati Gaya
Spent this day fully at home, and most of them in front of the computer. Facebooking, YM-ing, and texting, while playing with my little niece. I am going to get crazy if I keep this up. I've become a 'cewek gaul', hahahahaah... I used to be a homey person. But lately, I'm only at home for sleeping and basically just showing my face to my family, to let them know that I'm still alive.
My activities lately:
My activities lately:
- Working.
- Browsing the malls.
- Hanging out in DD, all alone, and loving every minute of it. Love their coffee.
- Cafe-hopping with my best pals. Okay, not exactly hopping. Just S'Bucks, Bakoel Koffie, and J.Co. Oh, and Dome too.
- Spending some quality time with my new found best friend, Frigie. ITC, Blok M Plaza, Sency.
- Conversing in every way possible with Batman. SMS, phone calls, chatting online, and meeting in the flesh.
- Trying to slip in some time with my almost ex-bf in between, mostly just to take me home. And to keep him in peace.
- Umm, basically just wasting time, until it's time to go home. I still don't know why I do this thing...
- Doing my best, to an extent, to be a bad girl. ;)
Hot & Cold
Since X'mas eve, Batman's been playing the hot & cold game with me. Because of one misunderstanding, which I had apologized for, he decided to give me the boot. At least, that's what I think. And then he got hot again. Even to the extent of discussing our next venue. And then he got cold again, he did something that really pissed me off. I won't tell what it was. But it made me realize that it's either he has a really low self confidence or it's him who was being immature. It's not like I want to marry you, asshole... Not even a real relationship. Chill out!!! BATJERK!!!
I need a S'Bucks Venti Skim Cappuccino with an extra shot. And a good book. And a menthol ciggie. And my gals. And a good music. And all will be well again.
I need a S'Bucks Venti Skim Cappuccino with an extra shot. And a good book. And a menthol ciggie. And my gals. And a good music. And all will be well again.
Friday, December 26, 2008
First Real Contact
A few days ago I worked on a side job for my old boss. There was a research on an FMCG brand, quite popular with the youngsters. Three groups were scheduled for that day, and 1 group for the next morning. I kinda enjoyed it. Really felt like old times, just in a better surrounding. :p (no offense, boss...)
My task is to take notes on the group discussions and then made the contents to be processed as the report by said boss. I just hope that she'd be satisfied with the results. Heheh...
Anyway, from about 4 o'clock that afternoon, Batman kept on calling and texted me. But because I had to concentrate on my work, I couldn't reply until about 5 or 6 pm. Turned out he was in my office and asked me if the karaoke date still stands. Of course I said yes, but he would have to wait for me, seeing that there still was 1 more group to go. He got annoyed, and made me thought that maybe he was not that keen to go out with me. If he was only playing with me. So I said that it was up to him, what would suit him. I definitely couldn't leave before 8 pm. Moreover, it was raining, so it's not like he could go anywhere. And yeah, he texted me every 15 minutes saying that he's still in the office and still raining. Hah!!!
When I finished, I called him, I decided to take a taxi and pick him up too because it's on my way home or wherever. I asked if I should pick him up at the office, and he dissed me. "Lu kira gue cowok jemputan apa?? Mana banyak anak2 disini... Kampreeeet... Gue jalan ke depan kompleks aja d..." Hahahahahahahahhh... It was so hilarious hearing him said that particular statement, because it was so him. That was one predictable side of him. :D
He walked to our meeting point, in the rain, waited for me, and then I arrived and he got into the taxi. We chatted like usual. He told me his story about his bosses, his conflicts and problems, and our previous project together.
We decided to go to a karaoke place in Lebak Bulus area. When we got there, we were instantly given a room, ordered a pitcher of beer, got a complimentary peanuts, and ordered many good songs that normally I wouldn't pick. Not because I don't like it, I did, but because my gal friends' tastes of music were so different... For a few songs, we behaved properly. :D
When I began to feel comfortable, I put my head on his lap. And then he started to semi-hugged me while swirling his fingers on my arm. It was hypnotizing. And we sang all that time. When I couldn't hold it any longer, and when I could feel he hardened beneath my head, I pulled his head down and we kissed. A long kiss. A very long kiss. With tongues heavily involved. :p
We parted, and sang again. More kisses, and touches. It felt liberating. It's what I want for a very long time. Something that felt good, without commitment, mutually satisfying. And it kinda boostered my ego too, knowing that I could turn him on. I mean, really turned him on. I felt powerful. More intimate touching, fondling, licking, sucking, and no singing involved. Got him in a state that he asked for us to get a room that night, but (unfortunately) I was having my period. Hahaa... Until now, I'm still not sure if it was a curse or a blessing in disguise. :D
I liked the way he held and touched. It's not rough or careless the way my ex-bf did. Even when Batman was in heat, he was still considerate. One plus point for you, man... Hehee...
I also liked the taste and feel of him in my mouth. The Batgear was so soft and smooth. So it wasn't that big, but what the heck. Quality over quantity. ;p
Two hours passed, time to go home. We split the bill, and I got ready to go. He pulled me up, hugged me and gave a sweet long kiss. It made me feel weird, because I thought that this was not supposed to happen. It's too sweet for the situation. It's not that I don't like it. I loved it. But beneath all my exterior and tough persona, I'm still a girl. Something like that could make me fluttered, and I might get the wrong signal. I don't want that.
Anyway, that's all that happened. An enjoyable night. He took me home by taxi. A parting kiss, and then we went our own way. I slept peacefully. No guilts, no regrets. Only anticipation for our next 'meeting'.
My task is to take notes on the group discussions and then made the contents to be processed as the report by said boss. I just hope that she'd be satisfied with the results. Heheh...
Anyway, from about 4 o'clock that afternoon, Batman kept on calling and texted me. But because I had to concentrate on my work, I couldn't reply until about 5 or 6 pm. Turned out he was in my office and asked me if the karaoke date still stands. Of course I said yes, but he would have to wait for me, seeing that there still was 1 more group to go. He got annoyed, and made me thought that maybe he was not that keen to go out with me. If he was only playing with me. So I said that it was up to him, what would suit him. I definitely couldn't leave before 8 pm. Moreover, it was raining, so it's not like he could go anywhere. And yeah, he texted me every 15 minutes saying that he's still in the office and still raining. Hah!!!
When I finished, I called him, I decided to take a taxi and pick him up too because it's on my way home or wherever. I asked if I should pick him up at the office, and he dissed me. "Lu kira gue cowok jemputan apa?? Mana banyak anak2 disini... Kampreeeet... Gue jalan ke depan kompleks aja d..." Hahahahahahahahhh... It was so hilarious hearing him said that particular statement, because it was so him. That was one predictable side of him. :D
He walked to our meeting point, in the rain, waited for me, and then I arrived and he got into the taxi. We chatted like usual. He told me his story about his bosses, his conflicts and problems, and our previous project together.
We decided to go to a karaoke place in Lebak Bulus area. When we got there, we were instantly given a room, ordered a pitcher of beer, got a complimentary peanuts, and ordered many good songs that normally I wouldn't pick. Not because I don't like it, I did, but because my gal friends' tastes of music were so different... For a few songs, we behaved properly. :D
When I began to feel comfortable, I put my head on his lap. And then he started to semi-hugged me while swirling his fingers on my arm. It was hypnotizing. And we sang all that time. When I couldn't hold it any longer, and when I could feel he hardened beneath my head, I pulled his head down and we kissed. A long kiss. A very long kiss. With tongues heavily involved. :p
We parted, and sang again. More kisses, and touches. It felt liberating. It's what I want for a very long time. Something that felt good, without commitment, mutually satisfying. And it kinda boostered my ego too, knowing that I could turn him on. I mean, really turned him on. I felt powerful. More intimate touching, fondling, licking, sucking, and no singing involved. Got him in a state that he asked for us to get a room that night, but (unfortunately) I was having my period. Hahaa... Until now, I'm still not sure if it was a curse or a blessing in disguise. :D
I liked the way he held and touched. It's not rough or careless the way my ex-bf did. Even when Batman was in heat, he was still considerate. One plus point for you, man... Hehee...
I also liked the taste and feel of him in my mouth. The Batgear was so soft and smooth. So it wasn't that big, but what the heck. Quality over quantity. ;p
Two hours passed, time to go home. We split the bill, and I got ready to go. He pulled me up, hugged me and gave a sweet long kiss. It made me feel weird, because I thought that this was not supposed to happen. It's too sweet for the situation. It's not that I don't like it. I loved it. But beneath all my exterior and tough persona, I'm still a girl. Something like that could make me fluttered, and I might get the wrong signal. I don't want that.
Anyway, that's all that happened. An enjoyable night. He took me home by taxi. A parting kiss, and then we went our own way. I slept peacefully. No guilts, no regrets. Only anticipation for our next 'meeting'.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Snap Up
Just finished my phone convo with the Friend With Benefit guy. Let's call him Batman. We discussed the details of our upcoming 'meeting', and it striked me as funny, seeing that we were like only discussing about a project. Felt impersonal, but honest nonetheless. But that's all about it.
At last, yesterday I saw him at work. We acted like there's nothing going on. It was hectic anyway. I almost kissed him when we had a time alone, but I decided not to. Not yet.
Finishing work, I went home, but halfway there, I made a mistake of allowing my almost-ex-bf to pick me up. Somehow, we ended up fighting again. I hate him so much. He took me to his place, and we fought again. He threatened to kill himself if I didn't give myself to him. I also was about to cut my wrist then and there, but he grabbed the fuckin knife. I thought it would be better if I died instead of him, thinking of my and his family. I ruined everyone's life. I ruined my life, but that's my problem, not anyone else's. He ruined his life, but he made it MY problem too. Told me not to be a coward. The pot calling the kettle black!! I realized now that he really is a psycho. Mentally fuckin abusive. Ad I let it become this far. I don't understand, APA GUE BEGITU MATI RASA??? APA GUE BEGITU GAK PUNYA HATI??? APA GUE BEGITU DATAR??? Sampe hal-hal seperti itu gak bisa gue sadari sebelumnya. Ato gue terlalu menggampangkan semuanya? G terlalu santai dan menganggap orang lain juga semestinya begitu...
He kissed me, I felt nothing. He touched me, I felt nothing. I couldn't stir anything. I just stayed still and let him do his things. It's like I was letting him to rape me. I hate the woman I have become. I'd rather be a slut than a frigid like that. I am going to be a free agent. No more commitments for me.
At last, yesterday I saw him at work. We acted like there's nothing going on. It was hectic anyway. I almost kissed him when we had a time alone, but I decided not to. Not yet.
Finishing work, I went home, but halfway there, I made a mistake of allowing my almost-ex-bf to pick me up. Somehow, we ended up fighting again. I hate him so much. He took me to his place, and we fought again. He threatened to kill himself if I didn't give myself to him. I also was about to cut my wrist then and there, but he grabbed the fuckin knife. I thought it would be better if I died instead of him, thinking of my and his family. I ruined everyone's life. I ruined my life, but that's my problem, not anyone else's. He ruined his life, but he made it MY problem too. Told me not to be a coward. The pot calling the kettle black!! I realized now that he really is a psycho. Mentally fuckin abusive. Ad I let it become this far. I don't understand, APA GUE BEGITU MATI RASA??? APA GUE BEGITU GAK PUNYA HATI??? APA GUE BEGITU DATAR??? Sampe hal-hal seperti itu gak bisa gue sadari sebelumnya. Ato gue terlalu menggampangkan semuanya? G terlalu santai dan menganggap orang lain juga semestinya begitu...
He kissed me, I felt nothing. He touched me, I felt nothing. I couldn't stir anything. I just stayed still and let him do his things. It's like I was letting him to rape me. I hate the woman I have become. I'd rather be a slut than a frigid like that. I am going to be a free agent. No more commitments for me.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
In The Name of Adulthood and Maturity
Yesterday, an old friend suddenly called. Turned out he met my best friend, and I don't know how, they suddenly ended up talking about me. They both are bloggers. This guy is a traveller and he updates his blog frequently, unlike someone I know. :p
He urged me to write my own blogs, saying that I seemed like a somewhat crazy but eloquent girl. (Ya think????) So this is my second post, after being silent for over 2 weeks.
Anyway, what exactly is maturity? Am I mature? It can't be something to do only with how old you are, right? But more to how you think and act. The way you decide what you're going to do, as well as facing the consequences. The way you react to any circumstance. The way you control yourself in any given situation. The way you scale our priorities and act accordingly. The way you know when to be serious and not. But it all comes to living up to your peers expectations. And the bottom line is the word RESPONSIBILITY.
How about doing the things that you know are the wrong things to do, but you still do them on purpose, and also willing to face the risks and consequences.
On a mutual understanding, giving adulthood and maturity as the reasons, I decided to take up on an offer from someone I met 2 weeks ago. We are officially - can it be called that? haha... - friends with benefit. Rules of thumb: no strings attached (obviously), and it can be called off anytime one of us decides that it's finished. No complications, no hard feelings.
There, I said it. Will update later. Right now, I need to go. Ciao.
You know you love me, but don't be horny. :p
He urged me to write my own blogs, saying that I seemed like a somewhat crazy but eloquent girl. (Ya think????) So this is my second post, after being silent for over 2 weeks.
Anyway, what exactly is maturity? Am I mature? It can't be something to do only with how old you are, right? But more to how you think and act. The way you decide what you're going to do, as well as facing the consequences. The way you react to any circumstance. The way you control yourself in any given situation. The way you scale our priorities and act accordingly. The way you know when to be serious and not. But it all comes to living up to your peers expectations. And the bottom line is the word RESPONSIBILITY.
How about doing the things that you know are the wrong things to do, but you still do them on purpose, and also willing to face the risks and consequences.
On a mutual understanding, giving adulthood and maturity as the reasons, I decided to take up on an offer from someone I met 2 weeks ago. We are officially - can it be called that? haha... - friends with benefit. Rules of thumb: no strings attached (obviously), and it can be called off anytime one of us decides that it's finished. No complications, no hard feelings.
There, I said it. Will update later. Right now, I need to go. Ciao.
You know you love me, but don't be horny. :p
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
First Day Blogging
Hi all. Am not expecting anyone to read or even follow my blog. But I guess it's time to have one. It should be nice to have a place to trash all my thoughts and feeling and everything else I can't tell my people.
Anyway, at the moment, I'm a 29 y.o. woman. People see me as a nice girl. But lately, I can feel myself turn to the darker side. And I feel really good about it. For someone whose love live was almost nil before turning 24, I decided to catch up some lost time, and do all the things I only read in novels or watch in movies. For you guys, what I do is maybe nothing. But for me, it's like I have another personality, and it's trying to come out and drown the old me. Later, I'm sure you will know me as you read my future postings, IF I can keep doing it. I am bored easily. Hehee...
I will post again soon. See ya...
Anyway, at the moment, I'm a 29 y.o. woman. People see me as a nice girl. But lately, I can feel myself turn to the darker side. And I feel really good about it. For someone whose love live was almost nil before turning 24, I decided to catch up some lost time, and do all the things I only read in novels or watch in movies. For you guys, what I do is maybe nothing. But for me, it's like I have another personality, and it's trying to come out and drown the old me. Later, I'm sure you will know me as you read my future postings, IF I can keep doing it. I am bored easily. Hehee...
I will post again soon. See ya...
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