Happy Birthday, Ma! (08312009)

Happy birthday, Mama...
Wishing you are in peace and always with Allah.
I can't give you anything but prayers.
May it all comes to you and hope you can feel the love surrounds you, Ma.
Rest in peace.
Please give our love to Papa too.
We love you both...

08302009, 11.40 pm

Shit! Kelar buka puasa harus langsung ke kantor. Padahal hari Minggu gini. Rencana buka puasa bersama kru cabutan sebenernya besok, sekalian lengkapin perlengkapan job mereka untuk di pos jaga masing2. Mendadak tadi sore ditelpon harus ke kantor karena perlengkapan udah dateng semua dan siap dibagiin, jadi acara bukber juga dipercepat jadi hari ini. Sompreeet! Padahal gue udah siap2 nikmatin buka puasa di rumah bareng keluarga gue. Akhirnya gue bilang aja, gue ke kantor setelah maghrib. Libur gini, pengen dong sekali2 abisin waktu di rumah sama Li'l Bangbag dan keluarga gue yang lain.

Sampe kantor udah jam 8an, ternyata anak2 itu baru pada mulai makan. Untuuuung aja gue gak dateng dari tadi sore. Nyaris ngebuang waktu gue main sama Bangbag. Fiuuh... Urus ini itu, akhirnya pulangnya jam 11 juga. Geblek...

Tajur - Gumati - Citos

Going out with the gank. Been planning this little trip for a week. Hahaa... Rencananya pengen buka puasa bersama, tapi cari tempat yang gak di Jakarta. Bosen sama suasana mall dan kota besar. *Twew*. Jadinya kita putuskan untuk pergi ke Bogor. Tadinya pengen ke Puncak juga malemnya, udah lama gak makan pancake dan poffertjes di Puncak Pass. Eh batal, soalnya rem mobilnya kurang mantep untuk dibawa ke Puncak.

Janjian untuk ketemu jam 2.30 pm di pelataran parkir ThatTV. Gue dateng duluan sama Kucil soalnya mau fax bukti pembayaran tiket Java Soulnation Festival. Mayan banget, masih dapet beli yang early bird. Tiket terusan 2 hari cuma Rp 150,000/orang. Padahal kalo harga normalnya sekitar Rp 400,000an tuh. Gak lama setelah nge-fax, Menik dateng dan kita ngumpul di bawah. Mama yang punya mobil ternyata telat banget karena musti nungguin rumah dulu. Akhirnya terpaksa juga beliau ngajak 2 keponakannya untuk jalan bareng kita. Hahaa... Jam 4an sore kita meluncur ke Bogor.

First stop: TAJUR!
Biasanya siy gue paling males pergi ke tempat belanja kayak gini. Cuma karena bete udah beberapa minggu terakhir tiap kali mau ke kantor bingung mo pake tas apa. Tas yang gue pake tiap hari ada 2, gue pakai bergantian. Yang 1 adalah tas batik dari Jawa yang oleh2 dari Frigie.Bahannya agak ringkih, dan karena gue orangnya rada gedubrakan dan bawaannya juga bukan sapu tangan, maka tinggal nunggu menitnya aja tu tas jebol. Tas yang kedua adalah tas untuk goody bag salah satu klien kantor gue. Brandnya gede dan mencolok, untungnya cuma di satu sisi. Jadi gue biasanya bawanya kebalik gitu, brandnya menghadap badan gue, biar gak promosi gratis banget. Udah beberapa putaran event itu tas ikut gue dengan setia. Dan beberapa hari lalu dia jebol dengan suksesnya. Setelah itu gue sempet ke kantor bawa kantong plastik saking gak punya tasnya. Huahahahaha... Paraah... Makanya gue maksa2 banget pengen ke Tajur. Believe it or not, this is the first time in my life I went to Tajur. Kucil ngajak ke SKI. Disana emang merupakan salah satu pusat tas dan sepatu di daerah itu. Macem2 tas ada. Dari tas segede dompet sampe koper. Puas gue keliling SKI, dan gue berhasil nemu 2 tas! Style-nya sumpah gue banget! Cihiiy!!! *Puas mode on*.

Pas disana, eh ternyata udah bedug maghrib, jadi kita batalin puasa dulu. Udah itu lanjut deh ke next destination: GUMATI.
Udah beberapa bulan terakhir gue penasaran banget sama yang namanya Gumati. Salah satu temen gue dulu pernah bilang dia pergi makan sama ceweknya kesana. Katanya tempatnya cantik, romantis, dan makanannya enak. Bogor tu emang kecil, tapi kalo gak tau jalan nyasarnya sedih juga. Untung pacarnya Kucil merupakan penduduk Bogor. Jadi sepanjang perjalanan dari Tajur dipandu beliau via telpon sampe ke Gumati. Begitu turun dari mobil, mmmmmmhhh... Wangi banget! Aroma sampah! *What the hell!!* Sial, kok aroma semerbak sampah gini yak tempatnya? Uh...

Begitu masuk ke Gumati, kita putuskan untuk cari meja di bawah. Kita pilih yang outdoor, dan kebetulan dapet meja dan kursi yang dari kayu. Pokoknya kesannya kayak kayu pohon yang diiris trus dijadiin meja gitu. Kayak meja n kursi piknik di luar negeri gitu deh. Permukaannya aja gak rata. Pemandangannya kota Bogor di waktu malam. Lampu2 rumah sepanjang mata memandang. Tempatnya emang rada tinggi. Cantik siy. Trus pelayannya langsung kasih daftar menu. Banyak juga menunya. Dari masakan lokal sampe interlokal, eh internasional. Cuma karena kita lagi berada di tanah Pasundan, ya pengennya makan yang lokal dong. Jadi kita pesen nasi timbel. Hmm, tempe gorengnya gue suka. Yang lainnya sih biasa aja. Yang gue gak suka sambalnya. Rasanya ajaib. Manis gak enak gitu. Dikit pula. Overall, tempat lumayan oke, tapi makanannya gak begitu spesial. Mendingan ke Puncak aja sekalian. Kalo pergi rame2 kesana lagi siy ayo aja, but it won't be my first choice next time. Not if it's about food. Hehee...

Last stop: Citos
When we finished, we departed and went straight to the tollway heading back to Jakarta. Didn't want to go home yet, but we also didn't have any idea where we would go. So believe it or not, Mama's driver decided for us. He drove straight to Citos while most of the car's occupants were asleep. Beberapa saat sebelum sampe gerbang Citos, dia ngomong, 'Mau di Citos aja ya, Neng?'

*Gubraakk...*

Wkwkwkwkwkwk... Ya secaraa, udah sampe depan Citos, ya iyalah kita kesitu aja. Aduh si Bapak, lucu juga ente, Pak. Hihiiy... Setelah muterin 2 lantai Citos, akhirnya kita dapet tempat yang ada sofa kosong, Brew & Co. Tergoda juga gue liat browniesnya. Lagian kan belum makan dessert tadi di Gumati. Jadi gue pesen itu, yang makan rame2. Enak deh, Brownies A la Mode. Vanilla ice creamnya enak. Dan pesenan gue seperti biasa, Regular Joe. Black coffee gak ada matinya deh buat gue.

Keponakan Mama yang masih kelas 4 SD, Adya, mulai ngantuk. Kebiasaan dia kalo udah ngantuk dan mau tidur adalah: ngenyot jempol... Gak lama dia tidur dengan suksesnya di sofa semantara para tante, eh mbak deng, terus ngobrol dan curhat. Malam semakin larut, curhatan Mama makin seru. She realized that she was being bitchy to her colleagues, but she couldn't help it. And we totally understood why she would be that way. We fully support you, Ma. Rock on, chica!

Gak terasa Citos pun udah mau tutup. Servernya udah dateng tadi nanya apa ada orderan lagi karena udah mau last order. Kita pesen minum lagi deh. Sambil setengah kuping dengerin Mama curhat, pandangan mata gue nyantol di TV raksasa di cafe seberang. Ada Arsenal vs MU. Taiii!! Arsenal kalah! Huaaaa...

Sekian laporan pandangan mata. Overall, a great day and night out with my best friends. I only got pissed because it ended with Arsenal losing from MU. Anyways, let's do this again, girls... :D

#Sawityowit

I've only started Twitting for about a month. My twits are so scarce, but I enjoy following some people's twits. During this Ramadhan month, every sahur I laughed my ass off reading those Club 80's personnels' as well as Oomleo's twits on #Sawityowit.

Sumpah kocak dan goblok dan ngaco, dan yang jelas menghibur! Follow them on Twitter, only on Ramadhan...

Goddess of Tajil

Everyday I prepare tajil for buka puasa at the office. I've made kolak twice. They're crazy about it. Variations are es cincau selasih, es timun suri, and today I'm preparing es belewah. And the office boy already asked me if he needed to cook rice and what to buy for the main course. Kok jadi kayak ibu rumah tangga yak? Buseeet... I've become the Goddess of Tajil. :D

Come to think of it, oh hell, I don't like thinking. Period. Forget what I was going to say.

Udah mau buka puasa. Hehee. Bye, peeps...Cya.

08272009, 05:19 pm

Weehhh... Melayang... Kurang tidur banget niy. Semalem pulang kerja jam 2. Akhirnya beli KFC skalian jalan pulang buat sahur gue. Penasaran juga pengen nyobain menu baru mereka yang black pepper itu. Enak juga ternyata. Tapi gue tetep paling doyan yang original. Hehe.

Sampe rumah jam 3, gue langsung mandi karena udah gak tahan sama bau asap rokok yang melekat di tubuh gue. Heran, pulang kerja kok baunya kayak pulang dugem. Huh... Mandi sambil loncat2 kedinginan, trus masuk kamar dan pake baju sambil loncat2 plus gemetaran kedinginan, udah itu langsung hajar KFC-nya. Masih anget. Wuenaak... Maklum udah lama pengen makan KFC baru kesampean tadi pagi. Belom kelar makan, eh kakak gue keluar kamar untuk nyiapin sahur di rumah. Skalian deh gue icip2 masakan beliau. Hehe... Judulnya jadi double sahur. Gembuuul... :p

Abis itu langsung tidur, soalnya udah gak tahan. Jam 6 alarm hape gue menjerit2. Kampret! Gue lupa reset alarmnya. Untung gak gue lempar tu hape. Gue reset jam 7.30, eh kebangunnya malah jam 8 lewat. Kenapa budeknya selektif banget ya? Tapi tetep aja gue leyeh2 dulu. Sampe kantor udah hampir jam 11. Xixixixi... Dimaklumi dong, gue kan masih lemes n ngantuk. Mana bulan puasa pula. Dan pas sampe kantor, anak2 juga pada belum dateng. Pada tepar ternyata. Kesian.

Tadi siang ditodong sama bos gue. Gue kira dia manggil gue kenapa, ternyata minta dibuatin kolak buat tajil ntar. Dia kasih kartu Flazz BCA-nya ke gue. Dan gue belanja deh ke Superindo. Bahan2 yang dimasukin ada pisang tanduk, kolang kaling, ubi, sama labu. Mantap gak tuh. Begitu sampe kantor, semua yang ada pada nongkrong di dapur. Bego deh. Padahal pada puasa tuh. Trus labunya kan keras banget tuh, labu Halloween masih ijo, susah banget ngupasnya dan motongnya. Dan bos gue langsung ambil pisau loh. Saking ngidamnya dia pengen makan kolak labu. Cuma di kantor sini gue bisa nyuruh bos bantuin masak. Wakakakaka...

Sekarang kolaknya udah jadi. Wanginya bikin keroncongan. Rasanya siy udah pasti enak, soalnya tadi si Eyang udah nyobain. Kan dia gak puasa tuh. Dia sampe merem melek gitu. Bageeus...

Buka puasa tinggal setengah jam lagi. Tahan, Bengal. Tahaaan...

Sugababes - Million Different Ways

Every time I go down your street
I pray we'll meet
I look around and nothing's changed
But all this time has separated us
Press rewind and stop the tape

Let's play it from the start
And pause before we part
We'll lay it down again

Chorus:
So whatever you wanna do
And whatever you're gonna say
From the minute you find that you know that
There's a million different ways
So whatever you wanna do
And whatever you're gonna say
From the minute you find that you know that
There's a million different ways

To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)
Dadadadada

And now we're face to face
We can't find words to communicate
We can't go on
Hiding there's something wrong
Press rewind and stop the tape

Replay it from the past
Confusing what we had
Can't try it out again

Chorus:
So whatever you wanna do
And whatever you're gonna say
From the minute you find that you know that
There's a million different ways
So whatever you wanna do
And whatever you're gonna say
From the minute you find that you know that
There's a million different ways

To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)

Nobody's ever come close to us
Confident this time we might pull through
But the.....
I can't hear you

Chorus:
So whatever you wanna do
And whatever you're gonna say
From the minute you find that you know that
There's a million different ways
So whatever you wanna do
And whatever you're gonna say
From the minute you find that you know that
There's a million different ways

To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)
To love you (to love you)
To love me (to love me)

repeat to fade

08252009, 04:10 pm

Too long working with my PC. Feeling nauseous. Hueeek...

Gonna take a break and catch some sleep before breaking my fasting.

Hari Pertama Puasa Ramadhan 2009

Hari pertama kerja di bulan puasa. Alhamdulillah gak terasa berat. Soalnya emang harus fokus sama tugas dari bos sehingga gak sempet mikirin laper ato haus. Mpe kantor langsung fesbukan n nguber posting blog yang tertunda mulu. Hehee... Trus siang disuruh bos ngawasin editing program blocking time pesanan klien di salah satu stasiun TV swasta. Jadi keinget masa2 gue kerja di ThatTV dulu. Cuma bedanya stasiun TV yang lagi gue tongkrongin ini asli busuk banget tempatnya. Anjrooot! Kayak kantor pemerintahan yang udah berdiri dari tahun 1960an gitu, trus udah setengah terbengkalai. Mana kopong banget. Meja kursi kayak di sekolah negeri yang udah reyot gitu. VTR dan alat2 lainnya juga barang jebot banget kalo diliat dari looknya sih. MCR-nya juga, buset deh. Gak tega gue ceritainnya. Huehehehee... Moga2 kedepannya ntar bisa memperbagus kualitas alat dan tempat ye, biar kerjanya juga enak. Kesian liat karyawannya. Buat AE dll masa cuma dikasih beberapa meja disatuin kayak konferensi meja kotak gitu. Ampun deh.

Pas jalan balik ke kantor, gile macetnya. Yaa secarraaa... Udah mau jam 5 gitu. Semua orang pada buru2 pulang mau buka puasa dirumah pas hari pertamalah pasti. Rasanya lamaaa banget di jalan kayak kura2, gak sampe2. Pas 3 menit menjelang maghrib baru deh sampe di kantor. Cuma ada teh ama gorengan. Huaaahahahaah... Buka puasa yang gak berkesan. :p

Tapi pokoknya Alhamdulillah udah melewati puasa hari pertama dengan baik.

Met Puasaaaaa...

To All Moslems out there,

Mohon Maaf Lahir Batin

Selamat Menunaikan Ibadah Puasa

Semoga Puasa & Ibadahnya diterima oleh Allah SWT

Peace Y'all...

Luv,
Bidadari Bengal

Malingsia Nekat Lagi

Yassalaaam... How could a nation be so stupid and idiotic and moronic and, God, even my illiterate servant might be so much smarter than them. Again, Malingsia makes a case. Another claiming of Indonesia's culture as theirs. PENDET DANCE looooh... *Gilaaaa*

Nekat banget ya, bo. Dan bodoh pastinya. Tari Pendet itu tarian dari Bali. Orang-orang dari seluruh dunia sebagian besar pasti udah tau tentang Bali. Sebagian lagi malah menganggap Bali as their favorite holiday destination. Dan buat para turis yang berkunjung ke Bali, wajib aja lihat tarian Pendet tersebut. Dari jaman tahun jebot juga orang-orang dari seluruh penjuru dunia udah tau kalo Tari Pendet tuh berasal dari Bali.

Awal-awal waktu itu mereka udah niat ngembat Reog Ponorogo, trus masakan Rendang, Wayang juga, bunga Rafflesia (Bau bangke gitu aja mereka nafsu... Gubrakk!), dll dst dsb. Huh.

Mungkin pemerintah Indonesia juga yang kurang inisiatif untuk menjaga kebudayaan kita sehingga ada pihak lain yang bisa mencoba klaim budaya kita sebagai milik mereka. Tapi yaa mau bilang apa? Namanya juga Malingsia. Kalo udah maling ya maling aja deh. Kesian gak punya budaya asli milik mereka sendiri sampe harus ngembat milik negara lain. Ato mau jadi bagian dari propinsi Indonesia aja, cuy? Hihiks.

*Disclaimer: Kalimat terakhir diatas bukan provokasi atau hasutan atau himbauan atau pancingan. Murni becandaan. Jangan dituntut yaks. Peace, yo...*

#PendetIndonesia

Etiquette, Please

Trying to write something elaborate after being mindless for a while seems like a tough thing to do. But I guess I should try at it, if not to keep my mind working. I don't want to be a mindless drone, you see. But damn, it's hard!

Okay, whatever. Let me just write about something else then. I went to ITC for an aromatherapy reflexology. It was a treat for me after being inflicted, tortured, and enslaved for months. Ehehe... Not exactly that, but well, you'll the gist of it. But what I want to tell you is not about the treat, but it's about some people and their habit.

See, there were these 3 women wearing hijabs and veils. Considering that this joint is a relaxing place, on top of that there were signs telling the customers to keep quiet and silence their phones. Any normal person would expect silence and calmness in such place, right? And surely by mutual consent each customer and employee alike would conduct as such, riiight? But no... I understand that each person has their own intellectual level as well as etiquette. But come on, even a child would understand those symbols on the wall. And so should those 'convicted' adults. Shit! I'm still so angry and pissed at them...

These 3 ladies were very noisy and I would say rude. They chatted as if there were no tomorrow. And at the top of their lungs too. They spoke in one of middle-eastern countries' language. This has nothing to do with being racial. It's just that I often found how some persons from these secluded groups acting out of norms. Sometimes their actions cause discomfort for other people. Examples are: that incident written above, burping loudly in public, being unhygiene (for lack of a better word: Body Odor), need I say more?

If there's anyone offended by this posting content, I apologize. This does not concern you. This is purely an observation on my part. And I write this totally from experience. No offense intended. At all. But still, it would be so much nicer if the people mentioned above care more about how the people around them feel or react to their actions. There is no guilty party here. At the end of the day, it all comes down to simply being nice to other people, and conforming to social norms/etiquettes/ethics etc.

Disclaimer: I ain't a saint. In fact, I'm a sinner. So please don't hold this against me. At least, I don't disturb other people's peace. Peace, yo. :p

Mbuuulll...

Mbul, gue kangen. Beneran ya lo udah gak ada?

I can't find you anywhere, Sayang.

Gue udah gila kali, ya?

Mbul, biarpun lo gak ada disamping gue, gue masih cinta lo. Gak tau sampe kapan. Gak tau apa bakal ada yang bisa gantiin lo. Gue gak ada bayangan sama sekali untuk hidup gue selanjutnya. Just burying myself with works. Unsuccessfully trying to forget. Hidup gue kok makin aneh dan kayak gak berguna aja deh. Mbul, gue selalu berdoa untuk lo. Semoga lo tenang di alam sana ya. Gak kesepian dan tersiksa. I love you, Mbul.

08182009, 07:15 pm

Back to work. All events are done. Only one day, but I already miss those hectic moments. Hahah... Baru libur sehari udah rindu order kabeh!! Istirahatin dulu tu badan napa, cuy??

Finishing after-event reports, catching up on news via Internet, and basically just lazying around. Have nothing better to do. Too late to go to the movies, and I'm just not in the mood for it. All the chicks are busy with their works.

I'm going hooome... Ohohoho...

12 Stones - Broken

Yeah, rock on!!

Alone again again alone
Patiently waiting by the phone
Hoping that you will call me home
The pain inside my love denied
Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride
Everything I need it lies in you

‘Cause I’m broken
I know I need you now
‘Cause deep inside I'm broken
You see the way I live
I know I know your heart is broken
When I turn away
I need to be broken
Take the pain away

I question why you chose to die
When you knew your truth I would deny
You look at me
The tears begin to fall
And all in all faith is blind
But I fail time after time
Daily in my sin I take your life

All the hate deep inside
Slowly covering my eyes
All these things I hide
Away from you again
All this fear holding me
My heart is cold and I believe
Nothing’s gonna change
Until I'm broken

08152008, 12:29 pm

Waaaaaks... Gila hectic banget. Tapi yang penting hari ini ada posting yak. Hihiy.
Peace, yo!!

Pokoknya hari ini persiapan terakhit sebelum event akbar besok. Masih banyak banget yang musti diurus. Dan kenapa hape gue gak berhenti bunyi yak? *Stres mode on*

Lapeeeerrr...

Iseng Deh

Whoops... So many tasks. My ears are red from the handset that was kinda sticked to them. And my throat is sore from sweet talking all the vendors, artists, etc. *Cough*...

Anyways, here's something to sooth the mood. Enjoy...


Picture credit: taken from Christmas Island Photos

08142009, 11:59 pm

Not going home again. Heuh. Gonna spend the night with CrewCut again. Hopefully I could hold him off and stay away from bad deeds. But sadly, I'm a sucker for bad boys. Suck!!

Good news! The boss just called and said that he's on the way back here. You wait for him, CrewCut. I'm going to bed. *Hoaahm...*

Combining Work & Pleasure

Slept over at the office again. Fully using my voice today. The handset sticked to my ear all day. Now my throat is sore, and my mood is even sorer. *Hiks...*

Slept at the office. Went out for super late dinner with CrewCut and found a 24 hour warteg nearby. When we got back, we waited for the boss. He said that he was also gonna spend the night there. He arrived at almost 2 pm. CrewCut went home, and I went to sleep. But all those hours we were waiting for the boss were spent for working. Combined with heavy petting. And more petting. Damn!!

Really just the two of us. If the boss wasn't getting back to the office, the shit would hit the fan. We'd do it. For sure. No questions about it. We would have done the deed. Again. *Sigh.*

08122009, 11:45 pm

So sleepy. Been working side by side with CrewCut all day. The other guys are all at the venue preparing and setting up the site for this upcoming event. Could only say that we've been getting touchy-feely anytime there's a tiny chance. Damn. I'm such a slut!!

And Mbul is still there on my mind. I don't understand myself.

08122009, 08:15 pm

Long time no post. Still grieving.

I've been busy working on this upcoming mega event. On top of that, internet in my office had been so shitty, so we couldn't get online for about 2 days. Damn... But today the internet is back on, thank goodness. I've never thought that we could get so stiff bored and 'mati gaya' without the internet. We couldn't work properly. *Sigh*...

I don't know what to write though. Today is the seventh day since he passed away. I miss him. A lot. I keep checking on his FB account and photos. Mbul, are you really gone?...

I Could Cry

At last I could cry. Met with my besties tonight in a coffee shop in Fatmawati area. Since Mbul passed away, I've been too busy with our last event so I didn't have time to grieve properly. I couldn't cry freely. Always in silence at the office. I barely went home last week. I had no personal space.

Last event handled by us had been executed, and I wanted to catch up with my life. At least, meeting and having some quality time with my best friends. So I called them and asked to meet right after I finished my job. I arrived first at Blooms and waited for them while perusing Batman's Facebook account and staring at his pictures. I miss him so much. I put his favorite music looping on my Nokia. He looked so healthy in those pictures. And the smiles and expressions, they're all just so Mbul. Why did you have to go, Mbul?

Almost an hour later, Menik and Kucil arrived. They sat, and I couldn't keep myself together anymore. I cried on their shoulders. I cried and cried and cried. Didn't care who saw us. I didn't know what to do anymore. All tears just poured out. All my kept up feeling exploded just like that. But I could only cried. Damn you, Mbul. Only you could make me feel like this. By your death...

Menik, Kucil, thanks for being there. I missed you both.
Hugs and kisses...

Teringat Kamu, Mbul Sayang

Teringat senyummu yang kadang sinis
Teringat tawamu yang ngenye'in
Teringat kata-katamu yang kurang ajar
Teringat ekspresimu saat melihat bokep di Internet

Teringat sentuhan ringanmu saat lewat di belakangku
Teringat pelukanmu saat tak ada orang yang melihat
Teringat kecupanmu saat kita hanya berdua
Teringat tatapanmu yang lembut padaku

Teringat perhatianmu yang kadang tak ada habisnya
Teringat saat kau menyuruhku untuk pulang sore
Teringat saat kita bekerja berdua
Teringat saat kita menunggu pekerjaan selesai

Teringat saat kita berjalan berdua
Teringat saat kita nonton berdua
Teringat saat kita makan berdua
Teringat saat kita karaoke berdua

Teringat saat kita pertama kali ngobrol berdua di Cisarua
Teringat saat kita jalan ke Bogor
Teringat saat kita berduaan di Serang
Teringat saat kita sering naik motor tanpa tujuan

Teringat saat aku menemanimu di rumah sakit semalaman
Teringat saat aku memelukmu ketika kau menggigil hingga demammu turun
Teringat saat kau tak ingin aku melepasmu dari pelukanku
Teringat saat-saat indah terakhir kita sebelum aku meninggalkan tempat tidurmu pagi itu

Teringat saat aku menjengukmu di rumahmu
Teringat saat melihatmu begitu lemah
Teringat saat terakhir kita jalan berdua di Cinere
Teringat ciuman terakhir kita di taxi

Teringat saat mendengar bahwa kau telah pergi
Teringat saat aku melihat jasadmu malam itu
Teringat saat aku memeluk ibumu
Teringat saat aku ingin menyentuhmu tapi aku tak sanggup

Terbayang jasadmu diturunkan ke bumi
Tak tertahan lagi tangisku
Tak terhentikan dukaku
Tak akan terlupakan dirimu olehku, Mbul Sayang

Mbul, sampai sekarang aku masih berharap ini hanya mimpi
Mbul, kepergianmu justru membuatku tak dapat melepas dirimu
Mbul, aku ingin lepas dari duka ini
Tapi Mbul, aku tak ingin melupakanmu

Aku harus bagaimana, Mbul Sayang?
Aku janji saat aku dapat menerima kepergianmu, aku akan merelakan dirimu
Aku tak akan menahanmu
Aku ingin kau terbang bebas tanpa beban

Aku ingin berkata, 'Pergilah, Sayang...'
Tapi tidak sekarang
Biarkan aku tenggelam dalam kenangan bersamamu untuk beberapa saat lagi
Hanya aku dan kamu, Mbul

Taking Refuge

Tried to forget my Mbul. Tried to runaway. But he's still on my mind even when I did the bad deeds. I took refuge and went to his arms. I know he's an ass, and I know he enjoyed it last night. And he made me feel good physically. But still, my Mbul was lurking in the back of my mind.

I took the worst way to forget what happened. I almost went crazy, but something got in the way, and we didn't do it. And I'm kinda grateful for the intrusion. I took what's available. I took what I've been wanting for weeks. But still it didn't give me the satisfaction I've thought I would get. Instead, it made me feel worse.

Mbul, I'm a bad girl. But I love you in my own way. Even when what I do shows the opposite. Mbul, I still can't fully believe you're gone. I can't feel a thing.

Selamat Jalan, Sayangku

ADA YANG HILANG - Ipang (BIP)

Aku hanya bisa terdiam melihat kau pergi dari sisiku, dari sampingku
Tinggalkan aku seakan semuanya yang pernah terjadi, tak lagi kau rasa
Masih adakah tentang aku di hatimu yang kau rasakan?
Coba kau rasakan
Mudahkan bagimu untuk hapuskan semua kenangan bersama denganku?

Tak pernah sedikit pun aku bayangkan
Betapa hebatnya cinta yang kau tanamkan
Hingga waktu beranjak pergi
Kau mampu hancurkan hatiku

Ada yang hilang dari perasaanku
Yang terlanjur sudah kuberikan padamu
Ternyata aku tak berarti tanpamu
Berharap kau tetap disini
Berharap, dan berharap lagi...

Mbul, ini lagu lo. Inget waktu kita karaoke dan lo request lagu ini sampe berulang-ulang? Dan lo maksa mau nyanyi lagu ini sendirian. Gue gak boleh ikutan. Suara lo keren banget waktu nyanyi lagu ini, Mbul.

Mbul, gue gak bisa berhenti mikirin lo. Semua penyesalan karena gue gak bisa dampingin lo bikin gue serasa tenggelam. Tapi juga banyak memori bahagia kita. Cuma kita berdua, gak ada orang lain. Semua campur aduk, Mbul. Dan gimana nyeselnya gue udah seperti melupakan lo di saat-saat terakhir lo. SMS terakhir gue ke lo di malam sebelum lo pergi untuk selama-lamanya. Dan lo gak pernah menjawabnya.

Di pagi terakhir lo gue sempat berniat ingin ketemu lo untuk kasih semangat. Tapi karena kesibukan yang gak ada akhirnya, gue niatin setelah event gue akan ke rumah lo. Tapi ternyata hari itu juga gue pergi ke rumah lo, tapi untuk melihat lo terakhir kalinya sebelum jasad lo diterima bumi. Betapa kurusnya kamu, Sayang. Beda banget sama saat terakhir kita jalan berdua di Cinere beberapa minggu lalu.

Gue tau penyesalan gak ada gunanya, tapi tetap aja gue nyesal gak menemui lo lebih cepat. Seandainya kita punya waktu lebih lama untuk bersama. Seandainya lo sempat merasakan hidup yang bahagia dan sehat sebelum ajal menjemput, Mbul. Gue gak bisa berhenti nangis kalo inget bahwa lo belum merasakan kebahagiaan yang lo inginkan. Bukannya gue gak bersyukur, tapi gue dari dulu ingin lo memiliki kehidupan yang tenang, bersama Adam yang udah sehat. Gue tau betapa sayangnya lo pada anak lo. Gue menyaksikan betapa hancur hati lo waktu tau Adam kena kanker otak. Tapi nyatanya, sekarang lo yang mendahului dia. Seperti yang semestinya, namun tetap terlalu cepat, Sayang.

Sekarang semoga lo udah damai di alam sana, Mbul. Lepas dari semua yang membebani lo di dunia ini. Lepas dari semua kekuatiran yang terus menghantui lo akan anak dan nyokap dan adik lo. Lepas dari penyakit yang lo derita. Dan lepas dari gue yang mencintai lo.

Gue sayang lo, Mbul.
Gue cinta lo.
Lepaskan semua ikatan lo dengan dunia yang udah lo tinggalkan ini.
Damai bersamamu, Sayang.
Mungkin suatu saat kita akan dipertemukan di alam sana kalau saat gue juga tiba.
I love you, Mbul Sayangku.
Selamat jalan...
Selamat jalan...

08052009, 06:30 pm

Sayang, thank you for everything you've done for me
Sayang, I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you, knowingly and unknowingly
Sayang, I never regret our weird relationship
Sayang, I really never thought you'd be gone like this

You were supposed to get well, Sayangku, not passed away instead
You were supposed to get back to your crazy self, not died instead

If only I tried to find out about how you really were instead of making the worst assumption

If only I tried harder to stay by your side and give you spirit instead of letting my self swamped with work

It was like a lightning struck when I heard that you're gone

I still feel the emptiness

I still feel the shock also

I still can't believe it

I still can't take it

Until I see your dead body

Maybe then I'll believe it

But I'm still hoping that this is just a bad dream

That you're still alive and playing pranks on us

Mbul, please don't leave us like this

Mbul, please still be alive

Mbul, please...

Dear God, why?

Just A Fling, Promise!!

We kissed again. Damn!! Last night and this morning. Getting kinda intense, but I think he knows the rule. At least, I'd like to think so. Just a fling, and nothing more. Don't want anymore complications. This girl just wanna have fuuuuun... Until she gets her conscience back. Hmm...

Bengal, insyaf keq lo! Ampun deh...

One Republic - All We Are

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you
And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it
and I believe that

Time can tear you apart,
But it won't break, anything that you are,
You are

We won't say our goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit
I figured there's nothing to lose
I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down
You're an island and my ship has run aground

Time can tear you apart,
But it won't break, anything that we are,
We are

We won't say our goodbyes you know its better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need all we need, a lover's alibi

Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by

So don't say your goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change [x2]

All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi

So don't say our goodbyes you know its better
We won't break, we won't die

I must admit, I'll never get tired of listening to One Republic. You guys rule!!

R.I.P. Mbah Surip

Telah berpulang ke Rahmatullah, Urip Ariyanto atau yang lebih dikenal sebagai Mbah Surip. Gue gak ngefans, bahkan gak pernah denger lagunya sama sekali. Cuma ikut2an aja kalo anak2 pada nyanyi 'Tak Gendong'. Namun musti diakui bahwa beliau memang fenomenal. Versi Indonesianya Michael Jackson yang bubble gum deh.

Yah, pokoknya rest in peace, mbah. You passed away when you're on top. Not many people can have that.

Bidadari Bengal, Batman, and CrewCut

I think now that I'm not a one-man woman. Lately, I kept cheating on my guy. Okay, well, technically I don't cheat. Because I'm not exactly his girlfriend. But when we haven't met for more than a month and barely keeping in contact, I guess it's fair to say that it's sort of over, eh? I don't understand what's my situation with Batman now. He's not here, and I can't always be there for him. And who wants to be with a pessimistic person, anyway. Sorry for dissing you, Batman. But I'm getting sick with your attitude lately. You don't try even for yourself. So how would you try for anyone else?

I got closer to CrewCut during our last event. Physically, not emotionally. Hahah. We practically worked on that event together, almost without help from the others as they were all too tired and had other business. Little touch here, little kiss there. But nothing more. And I can't let it gets further than that. In fact, this fling shouldn't have happened at all. Tapi ya emang dasar Bidadari Bengal. Bengal banget dah!!

Sekarang resmi udah, orang-orang sekantor tepar semua. Gue tambah lemes dan berasa melayang. Pusing. Eneg. Have no energy. But total load of work. Help!!

Tired and Missing Batman

At last, back to beloved Jakarta. Only gone for 3 days but it felt like 3 weeks... Feeling totally tired, but still psyched up. Expecting to be hectic for the next 2 weeks.

Batman, cepetan sembuh dong, Sayang. Sepi gak ada lo di venue. Gue mau kabur sama siapa dunks? Hiks... Kangen euy. Ehem...

Muach dulu ah. Sekarang susah kalau SMS lo. Balesannya lama. Mbul bobo mulu ya? Gpp deh, biar cepet sembuh. Muach lagi...