Taking Refuge

Tried to forget my Mbul. Tried to runaway. But he's still on my mind even when I did the bad deeds. I took refuge and went to his arms. I know he's an ass, and I know he enjoyed it last night. And he made me feel good physically. But still, my Mbul was lurking in the back of my mind.

I took the worst way to forget what happened. I almost went crazy, but something got in the way, and we didn't do it. And I'm kinda grateful for the intrusion. I took what's available. I took what I've been wanting for weeks. But still it didn't give me the satisfaction I've thought I would get. Instead, it made me feel worse.

Mbul, I'm a bad girl. But I love you in my own way. Even when what I do shows the opposite. Mbul, I still can't fully believe you're gone. I can't feel a thing.